A Horrible World of Plot Holes and Spelling Errors
by ViridianVenus
Summary: Fan Fiction. net is inundated with Mary Sues and Author Insertions. It was only a matter of time before the Warners had enough. Rated STRONG teen for language and mild sexual content. Flames welcome!
1. Plot? What Plot?

Disclaimer: I do not own the Warners. I own an autographed section of the 'I'm Cute' storyboard, all of the dvds, and a jean jacket with the Warners embroidered on the back, but that's it. The other characters are created by me. For which i apologize for.

**Author's note**: This is a rather scathing parody of Mary Sue/ Author insertion stories. And as such it is riddled with plot holes, spelling errors, and other fanfiction clichés. All are intentional. Also the names of my OC's are parodies of OC's that are found in the A! section here. Some of you will recognize names based on your OC's. Don't be too offended, cause i'm not changing it. Plus it's only the names and certain dynamics that are based on your fan characters. The actual personalities of these characters are amalgamations of all the Sues I've run across in my twelve years of reading fics, so odds are the joke or behavior made/done by the character named after yours that offends you the most isn't even actually based on your character. So take it in stride. Also, I get as good as I give. I rag on myself a lot in this thing.

Character history: This takes place in the modern day. The Warner's know that they had a show and that it was canceled. They now spend their time acting in fanfics. In this story they're aged 10, 12, and 15.

**A Horrible World of Plot Holes and Spelling Errors  
****A DancesWithCorpses production**

Chap 1: Plot? What plot?

On a glorious Tuesday afternoon in the heart of Burbank California the noonday sun shone cheerfully down on the WB watertower located in the Warner Brothers Studio lot. Now in that watertower the Warner siblings were sitting idly on the couches in they're living room waiting for the plot to start. They didn't have to wait long however since the writer couldn't be bothered with a stupid little detail like plot setup.

A pretty little Warner in a green turtleneck sweater stepped delicately into the room. She was missing her trademark purple ball cap.

"haz any1 seen mi hat?" She asked.

Jolting to attention, since they'd been starting to fall asleep, Yakko, Wakko, and Dot staired at her in confusion.

"The hell?" Dot asked, glancing at her brothers.

"Who are you?" Yakko added.

The lovely girl looked startled for a moment before laughing girlishly.

"LOL!!1! u guyz r so silly! i almost beleeved u 4 a momnt :) !"

"...Uh, I wasn't kidding." Yakko said in a hard tone as he slowly stood up, ready to defend his sibs if he deemed it necisary. "Who are you? How did you get in here?"

"I-Im Twist Warner!" Said Twist Warner. "Im Wakkos identical twin!"

"Are not!" Wakko cried out in alarm as his eyes went wide. "You can't be! You're a girl! And I've never seen you before!"

Twist put her hands on her hips in anger. She couldn't understand why her beloved family was ackting this way.

"wot duz bn a grl hav 2 do w/ n e thng /:( ?"

"Because that's not how it works!" Wakko insisted with a flail of his arms. "Identical twins are always the same gender cause of the way they're made. The best we could be is fraternal twins, but we're not 'cause if I had a twin I'm sure I would have noticed by now!"

"how cud u say tht?!" Twist cried as her pretty face scrunched up in dismay, her hat long forgoten. "we;ve bin 2gthr r hole livez! we luv ech othr! we spk 2 ech othr telepathicly!"

Yakko and Dot stared intently at the girl as Wakko furrowed his eyebrows in frustration.

"I don't have telepathy! I've never had telepathy! And I'm still pretty sure you didn't exist this morning!"

Now it was Twist's turn to look frusterated, witch was rather eerie for the Warner's to see since she really did look exactly like Wakko.

"didnt exist thiz morn? O rly? look, ill _pruve_ Im ur twin. cum heer. :-/ "

Glancing at eac h other before filly shrugging the Warner's all got up from the couch and followed Twist to The Grand Warner Wall; a patch of wall space where the sibs would often hang up pictures they had taken of each other.

"C? Look." Twist said, pointing to the wall. "Im n all teh picz."

And she was. Their was Wakko an Twist blowing out birthday candles on the same cake. And a much younger Twist and Dot sitting on the floor playing dolls. They're was all four Warners screaming in thrilled terror as they went down the drop of an amusement park's log flume ride. Finally their was a picture of Twist holding up a newspaper with yesterdays date.

"& look," Twist continued as she led her sibs to the bedroom. She gestured to the double set of bunk beds. One for Yakko and Dot and the other for her and Wakko.

Yakko scratched hi shead in confusion. "Those beds weren't like that this morning. Neither were the pictures."

Dot nodded. "I've wanted a sister my entire life. There's no way I've had one lying around the tower this whole time and just didn't notice."

Wakko didn't say anything, still looking completely confused.

Twist stamped her foot angrily as crystalline tears coursed down her face.

"f u dun wnt me n e moor jst SAY so! Dun pretnd liek u dun evn no hu i m :'( !!"

Wakko squirmed guiltily a bit. He hadn't meant to hurt the feelings of this mysterious mirror image girl. But he was still pretty sure that he hadn't had a twin when he came down for breakfast this morning. And the fact that his _known_ siblings seemed just as confused as he did only strengthened that belief. He still didn't like to make girls cry though. It made him feel kinda skeezy.

In a sudden fit of pathos Twist flung herself at him bawling and wrapped her arms tight around his waist.

"O deerest brthr, plz say u remembr me, plz say u remembr r luv 4 ech othr. wen u hurt, i hurt. wen u cry, i cry. wen u fart, i take teh blame..."

Yakko snickered, earning himself a sharp elbow in the ribs from Dot.

"...we be 2 sidez of teh same toast, snake eyez n a crapshoot. Ur teh Snoop, im teh dog. Plz say u remembr me!"

"Yakko," Dot whispered. "She's monologueing. Badly. What the hell is going on?"

"I have no idea, sis." He whispered back with a shrug.

"Memmmmmmrryyyyyy al alon n teh mooooooonlight!" Twist sang with wide shiny eyes as Wakko desperately tried to pry her off witha crowbar.

"A little help would be nice." He muttered sending his sibs a pleading look.

"I remembeeerrrrrr teh tym i nue wot happyness wuuuuzzz, let teh memmmmryyyy liv agaiiiiiiinnnn..."

"This is just pathetic," Yakko said with a disbelieving shake of his head. "We need to end this."

He stepped forward and a look of relief washed across Wakko's face. He was sure his brother would put everything straight.

"So, ...uh, Twist is it?"

Twist looked up, her eyes still big and shiny.

"Now I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for all this. What it could possibly be, I have no idea. But I'm sure there's a very reasonable explanation. In any case we're not going to find it standing around here being all upset. So let's all go back to the living room, sit down, take a breath and try to figure all this out, whataya say?"

After a moment's consideraion Twist nodded and Wakko was finally able to pry her off and regain his persoanl bubble. The sibs then traipsed back to the couches and flopped down.

"So," Yakko began. "Any ideas?"

"Maybe she's from an alternate dimension." Dot suggested.

"Maybe she's some kind of robot." Wakko tossed out.

"Mayb ur al jst rly meen." Twist muttered with crossed arms.

"All wonderful suggestions." Yakko said. "The only thing now is how to _prove_ any of it."

"You have to admit though, this is all really weird." Dot said after a moment. "Usually when a writer gives us a new sib they give us all of the memories that go along with that sib. Or they introduce them to us in a 'long lost, mysterious past' type plot. Usually the storyline is obvious enough to figure out what exactly we're expected to do next, but I don't have a clue with this one."

"She's right." Wakko said thoughtfully. "This doesn't fit the style of _any_ of our fic writers. Who's writing this thing anyway?"

"Let's find out." Yakko grabbed Dot's laptop off the coffee table and logged on to fanfiction. net.

Dot frowned. "Wait, if they haven't even finished writing the first half of chapter one yet it's not going to be posted. How are you going to find out who it is?"

"Shhhh! Plot hole!"

"Already?? But it's only page four!"

Yakko ignored her. "Okay, got it." He said as he pulled up the author's user profile. "The writer is DancesWithCorpses."

Wakko thought hard. "Not ringing a bell."

"Because she changed her penname. The last time she wrote a story with us she was Venus23."

Dot's head shot up. "You mean the bitch who had me strangled to death by a drug addict on Christmas Eve??"

Yakko grimaced at the memory. That fic still gave him nightmares. "That's the one."

"Perfect. She kills me in her first story, has me desperately ill in her second and now she's changed her name to DancesWith_Corpses_. I can't tell you how warm and fuzzy that makes me feel."

"Hmmm." Yakko hummed as he read on. "Now I'm really confused."

"What is it?" Wakko asked as he leaned over to get a peak. Twist watched silently with an unamused scowl.

"According to her profile DWC hates Mary Sues, author insertions, slash, bad spelling, gratuitous plot holes, and chatspeak. And we're halfway through page four and so far we've already had plot holes, bad spelling, chatspeak, an author reference, and a possible Sue."

"Lo!" Twist cried out indignently. "hearin evrytng u say /:-( !"

"Maybe it's not her." Dot suggested looking hopeful. "Maybe someone hacked her account, possibly someone a little more inclined to keep me alive and unmolested."

"Here's hoping." Yakko agreed. "I'm sick of doing death scenes with you."

"Try it from my end!"

Yakko looked up from the laptop screen and gave her a solemn look. "I would in a heartbeat if it kept you from having to go through it."

Dot's expression went all soft as Twist turned to give Wakko a hard stare.

"thtz teh kind ov relatonshp _we_ r sposed 2 has." She told him bitterly.

Wakko shrugged helplessly. "But I don't _know_ you."

She could only 'harrumph' and turn away.

"This still doesn't answer our question of what we're supposed to do next." Yakko muttered. "At this point we don't even know if it's actually her writing this. It doesn't fit her usual style."

"Or any of our other fic writers' usual style." Dot added. "Four pages in and there's still not a plot to be found."

Yakko considered for a long moment, idly drumming his fingers on the keyboard. "You know, the author lives in Orlando. And if I remember correctly it's been a while since we've been to Florida."

Dot's eyebrows shot up. "You're not saying..."

Yakko nodded, a lopsided grin spreading across his face. "If the plot won't come to us, then we have no other choice than to go to the plot. Pack your bags sibs ...and Twist, 'cause we are going to Florida!"


	2. It's a Suenami!

**Author's note**: I don't have a personal blog. But who needs one when I've got author's notes?! And I know you're all just dying to know all the little details of my personal life! So I just wanted to take the time to let you all know that today I got up and had a piece of toast. Then I brushed my teeth. Then I went to the store to buy some fish. And then you threw an octopus at my window! You know Zoidberg, when you talk this way- oh wait. Wrong speech. Hell, wrong fandom! No, what I meant to say was:

Cheeseballs are one of my all time favorite foods. I always seem to meet the most interesting people when I'm around them too. In fact, cheeseballs bring to mind the time I met Bob Barker. Yes indeed, _Bob Barker_. Star of the most popular morning game show. He's a host, an emcee, _and_ a celebrity all rolled into one. Anyway, eight months ago, it was Tuesday the 17th, I believe, or it might have been the 18th - no, no, it was definitely the 17th, because it was precisely one week after my Aunt Lucretia's birthday, which is the 10th. Aunt Lucretia's quite a woman - loves to cook. She prepares a fabulous War Shu Op - that's a Chinese duck dish. I love Chinese food. I once went to a party where they served Chinese food and cheese balls. Now that was a Catch-22 situation. Catch-22 was a movie, you know. It was long, _very_ long. They say the book was better, but it was a novel, and I never finish reading those things. Of course, a lot of people don't read much nowadays; they watch television. I caught a program on PBS last night - a very good show on chimpanzees in the media. They had a clip of J. Fred Muggs the chimp on the Today Show, but it was Fred's chimpanzee girlfriend that had me stumped. I couldn't remember her name, so I looked it up. Her name was Phoebe B. Beebe. Anyway, as I was saying, eight months ago, Tuesday the 17th, I went downtown on a nice relaxing stroll. I love to relax. In fact, relaxing is a hobby of mine. Some people play golf, others like tennis, horseshoes, bridge, canasta, and other such fancy hobbies. Now another hobby enjoyed by many is knitting. My grandmother was a great knitter -- knitted this sweater I'm wearing. It's red, which is not my favorite color. I prefer mauve or a mustard yellow. Now, don't get me wrong, red is okay for ties and suspenders, but with sweaters I prefer more neutral colors. But when I'm relaxing, I don't care _what_ I wear - long pants, bermuda shorts, t-shirts, or formal attire, you name it - anything goes. Now, on the 17th, during my relaxing stroll, I recall wearing my herringbone jacket, my Laughlin, Nevada souvenir tie, and my charcoal grey slacks - or was it the navy slacks? Oh, I suppose it doesn't really matter, does it? What matters is comfort. You know, I once stayed at a Comfort Inn - warm, cozy, comfortable. I love comfort. It goes along with that pastime of mine - relaxing. Now, for me, there's nothing more relaxing than a nice leisurely stroll like the one I took eight months ago on the 17th. It was a bright, sunny day, which of course is the optimum condition for relaxed strolling. And as I walked along, I found myself humming a haunting melody. I kept humming and humming and humming and humming. I couldn't get the tune out of my head. I racked my brain to come up with the title, but to no avail. You see, I'm not terribly musical - and yet, I'd always wanted to play a musical instrument and be like my musical hero, Leo Sayer. But who can compete with Leo? I think I was just scared I'd fail. Well, I decided right then and there to go buy a musical instrument. So on the particular Tuesday the 17th to which I was referring, I went down to the Sixth Street Musical Emporium to buy a new tambourine, a terribly soothing instrument contrary to popular opinion. And as I was strolling along, I detected a wonderful scent in the morning air. "What could it be?" I asked myself. So I went toward that marvelous scent, distracted by its aroma from my musical mission. The odor was a mix of orchid flowers and bologna, which, of course, is one of the world's most underappreciated luncheon meats - that and pimento loaf. I love a good pimento-loaf-and-mayo sandwich - the more pimentos, the better. Why just the mention of pimentos makes my taste buds stand up and say "Howdy". Now there's an interesting word - "howdy". Is it from "How are you?", or maybe "How ya doing?" "Howdy"'s one of those strange words that really _has_ no origin. I like saying, "How do" more than "Howdy" - more formal, I think - not too flowery. But the flowery aroma of that particular Tuesday morning carried me on my fragrant quest. Now, the smell was actually less bologna and more orchid, the beautiful flower found on the island state of Hawaii. Of course, I wasn't in Hawaii, so I needed to search out the location of the nearest orchid. So, I visited every flower shop in town. Well, to make a long story short, not a _single_ flower shop in town had _any_ orchids in stock, which seemed mighty curious to me. Now, as we all know, curiosity killed the cat, but since I'm not feline, I wasn't too worried. Felines are funny creatures, don't you think? I had a cat once. It used its claws to tear my living room couch to shreds. It was a comfy couch, too - had a sleepaway bed in it with a foam rubber mattress. Now, I bought the couch and the mattress at Levine's department store on Third Avenue the very same afternoon of that relaxing stroll aforementioned. I also bought myself a lovely tambourine on that same shopping expedition. Anyway, I didn't want to pay extra for the delivery of the couch, so I decided to carry the couch home myself. It was quite cumbersome, and getting it through the store's revolving doors was a bit of a challenge. And just as I emerged onto the street, by accident I bumped into a well-dressed man with an orchid in his lapel. It was Bob Barker, and he was eating a bologna-and-cheese-ball sandwich. Well, it's been nice chatting with you. Bye!

Chapter Two: It's a Sue-nami!

"Don't use Expedia, go to Travelocity." Dot ordered as she peered over Yakko's shoulder.

"What? Why?"

"I _love_ those roaming gnome commercials!" She said with a happy bounce.

Yakko raised an eyebrow. "…So instead of picking a product based on its quality you make a decision based on who has the better TV commercial?"

"Yup! It's the American Way! And everyone knows what happens when you deviate from the American Way…"

"…The terrorists win?"

She nodded solemnly. "Yes."

He couldn't help but smirk at her. "Well I guess I wouldn't want something like _that_ hanging over my head. Travelocity it is than."

Wakko wandered over and took a place behind Yakko's other shoulder, partially out of curiosity, but mostly just to get away from Twist.

"So honestly Yakko," He asked. "Are we going to Florida because you want to talk to the writer or because you're looking for an excuse to use our credit card reward points before they expire?"

"Uh… heheh… well…"

Dot grinned. "I so knew it. You never go out of your way to meet any of our other writers and we've had ones do far worse to us than leave us stranded in a plot-free fic."

"Can you blame me though? It's central Florida, tourist trap of the continental U.S. They've got six Disney parks, two Universals, two Sea Worlds, a Bush Gardens, a Space Center, and Miniature Golf."

"We have Miniature Golf here." Dot pointed out in confusion.

"But not _Pirate_ Miniature Golf!"

His sibs eyes went wide with amazed wonder. "Ooooooohhhhhh!!!!!"

"And just like here they've only got two seasons: Summer and January. So we don't even have to worry about figuring out what kind of clothes to pack."

"Faboo." Wakko commented.

"Speaking of packing," Yakko said. "I don't want to have to spend forever checking luggage in. So to save time I was thinking we should all just store our stuff in Wakko's gag bag so we can just carry it on. But first Wakko, I'm going to need you to clean that bag out. Otherwise we'll be spending eternity in airport security."

"I'm on it!" Wakko said cheerfully as he moved to the center of the room and upended his gag bag spiling out the contents. Among the items was eight collectable Star Wars plates, a cactus, a kayak, three abisinian cats, and the entire Broadway cast of 'RENT' who stumbled away looking disconcerted.

"All clean!"

"Okay," Yakko said as he walked over with his printed itenuary. "Here's the game plan. I've got us a flight out of the Burbank Airport at five. We land in Dallas Texas at ten their time. We stay the night and then our next plane leaves at eight-thirty a.m. putting us in Orlando at noon."

The sibs, and Twist, nodded there understanding.

"It's one now," Yakko continued, glancing at his watch. "So we need to pack and get a cab out there as soon as we can. We have to go through post 9/11 security and that might take a while."

With the plan agreed upon the sibs split up to do they're packing. The boys, and Twist, were done very quickly but had to wait for Dot who was having a hard time choosing between three virtually identical pink bathing suits. She eventually decided on the pink one. That accomplished they all placed they're luggage into Wakko's gag bag which he placed, as usual, under his shirt.

"Anyone who has to go potty should go now." Yakko stated giving his brother a pointed look. Sure enough at the word 'potty' Wakko and Twist realized that they had to go _immediately_ and raced off both doing perfectly synchronized potty dances.

Dot could only shake her head. "Wow. They really are a _lot_ alike."

"If they eat alike we're in big trouble. We don't make _that_ kind of money." Yakko pointed out.

When the twins returned they all set off from the watertower. They passed by Ralph who eyed them all warily, except for Twist who he smiled brightly at.

"My Sue sense is tingling." Dot complained as Twist was cheerfully greeted by Minerva, Mindy, Slappy, and Brain.

"Hay, I cnt hlp it f evry1 luvs me :P !" Twist stated primly.

"Hey, _I'm_ supposed to be everyone's favorite!" Dot's left eye twitched as she shrieked.

"Stop fighting you two." Yakko scolded. "Dot, you're adorable. Twist, you're a Sue. Now let's get a cab and get going already!"

Dot looked slightly mollified and jogged ahead to catch up with her oldest brother. Twist just looked offended.

The quartet soon reached the nearby tourist entrence, which led to the guided tour and giftshop. Just outside the entrence was a waiting line of cabs. Yakko reached for the handle of the nearest one but his hand collided with that of another.

"Oh, I am sorry." The woman said, blushing. "I believe you got here first."

Yakko hesitated as he looked at her. She was 5 foot 3, 100 pounds with the body fat index of a triathalon runner. Her legs were as firm and graceful as those of a gazelle. With smooth porcelin skin devoid of a single blemish she looked as if she were sculpted by an angel. Her perfect body was wrapped in a delicate pale blue silk sundress that hugged her in all the right places. Shining golden waves cascaded gently down her back ending just above her waist. They blew in the wind. Around her neck was a little prism pendent, the color of which perfectly offset her deep pristine ocean colored eyes.

And she had a rack you could bounce quarters off of.

"Helloooooo nurse…" Yakko mumbled softly as Wakko also gave the woman an appreciative ogle. She was still blushing slightly and Yakko decided now would be a good time to turn on the charm.

"So," He almost purred. "What's a woman like you doing on a street corner like this?"

The woman's eyes went wide.

"Wow. That did not come out the way I intended."

She giggled. It sounded like tinkling bells.

"What I meant to say was: Where are you headed?"

"Oh, the airport." Her voice was like spun honey.

"Well," Yakko said, regaining his suave grin as Dot rolled her eyes. "It just so happens that we are also headed to the airport. Why don't we just share the cab?"

An enchanting smile spread over her perfectly proportioned face revealing a million gleaming white teeth. "Oh that would be wonderful!"

Yakko opened the door for her and she slid into the cab gratefully. Yakko took the seat next to her and Dot the seat next to him, which left the twins to sit in the third row. Wakko grumbled mutinously. Leave it to Yakko to totally hog the hottie. He was jolted from his thoughts when he realized Twist was staring intently at him.

"What?" He demanded.

"Did u heer me?" She asked.

Wakko blinked. "Hear what?"

"Mi thawtz. I jst snt u a telepathic massage! Did u git it?"

Wakko moaned and buried his face in his hands. This was going to be a _long_ trip.

As the cab pulled away from the curb Yakko noticed that the girl was playing shyly with the liquid silk that was her hair.

"You know, I never even introduced myself. The name's Yakko."

"Three guesses as to why." Dot mumbled before getting sharply elbowed.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Yakko. My name is Milkweed."

Yakko blinked in surprise. Dot just looked confused.

"Milkweed? Like… the plant?" She asked.

"Uh huh, the wonderful plant that provides nourishment to the caterpillar of the glorious Monarch Butterfly. But everyone calls me Milk."

"…Okay…"

"It is cute!" Milk insisted.

Dot turned back towards the window. "If you say so." She said as she shook her head with pity.

Yakko faltered for a few moments completely unsure of what exactly to do with this new piece of information. It was quite an unfortunate name for such a beautiful woman.

"So, uh, …Milk, tell me a little about yourself."

"Well, alright." She said shyly with a cute blush. "I am 17 but I have already graduated college with a degree in writing/acting/singing/dancing/painting/photography/graphic design/computer animation/ and modeling. I was orphaned at the age of nine when my parents Carnival Cruise hit an ice burg and sank." A single tear slid down her cheek. "It was all so very tragic. Afterwards I was sent to live with my aunt whose live-in boyfriend would molest me on an almost nightly basis. But despite it all I am amazingly well adjusted even though I have never been to a psychologist."

"Psychology's highly overrated anyway." Yakko stated. "Our Psychologist thinks our distrust of authority stems from us not having trustworthy authority figures in our early youth. And that we use our zaniness to keep people at an emotional distance so they can't get close enough to hurt us. Which is all just mindless psychobabble, if you ask me."

"Which she didn't." Dot chirped earning herself another elbowing.

"Anyway," Milk said pleasantly as she continued with her narrative. "I am flying to Massachusets to meet with the head of the Salem Acadamy of Witchcraft." She held up the little prism on her necklace. "This pendent has magical powers. It has been in my family for generations. I am hoping the school headmaster can trace its origins and help me find my extended family. Both of my parents were only children, and orphans as well."

"But you said earlier you lived with your aunt." Dot pointed out.

"No I did not."

Dot furrowed her eyebrows. "Yes you did. Like six paragraphs ago."

"I do believe I know my own backstory!"

"Are you even sure you're in the right fandom? You missed the Harry Potter section by a _lot_. You're in Animaniacs right now."

"I am right where I should be!"

"Ur wasting ur breth!" Twist called from the back seat. "Theyl pik on u jst 4 teh hek ov it! b/c their meen /:-( !"

Deciding that the best course of action would be to just ignore everyone else in the cab at the moment, Milk directed her attention directly at Yakko. She fixed him with an innocent yet flirty look that made his heard race before saying:

"So Yakko, tell me a little about yourself."

"Oh, there's not really much to say…" He said modestly.

"But he'll find something, believe me." Dot muttered. He attempted to elbow her again but she expertly dodged him and stuck out her tongue.

"We're orphans." He continued. "And I'm raising my siblings."

Off Milk's impressed expression he was quick to add: "Just me, alone, unassisted… You know, it's _tough_ being essentially a single parent…"

Wakko, Twist, and Dot simultaneously rolled there eyes.

"But nothing is more _rewarding_ than shaping their young minds and watching them grow…"

Dot had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing.

"Oh Yakko!" Milk exclaimed as she clutched her hands to her chest. "What you must have gone through! How tough it must have been! And yet you have managed all on your own! You are an _amazing_ brother!"

"I do my best." Yakko said once again adopting a modest tone as he held up a little gold plague that had 'World's greatest brother' embossed on the front.

"That's not a real award, you know." Wakko stated matter of factly.

"He bought that for himself at a mall kiosk." Dot added.

Yakko sent them both scathing looks. "What is your _problem_?!" He demanded.

"I have a twin I've never met before." Wakko answered.

"And people like her better than me!" Cried Dot as her eye began twitching again. "_I'm_ the cute one! I AM!!!"

"And we'll get that taken care of, but don't take it out on me in the meantime!" Yakko hissed.

After a moment his sibs mumbled "Fine!" under there breaths and he turned back to Milk who appeared completely unfazed.

"I know what it is like, being an orphan." She said. "I never met my parents. They were murdered before I was born."

Yakko frowned. "…What? …_Before_ you were born? How could your _parents_ be murdered _before_ you were born? Wouldn't that make you… not exist?"

"I thought she lost her parents when she was nine." Dot stated.

"No. I just _said_ I have never met them!" Milk stated in frustration.

Dot looked thoughtful. "You seem to be having a hard time keeping your story straight. Are you wanted by the government?"

"No!"

"Witness Protection Program?"

"No!"

"Multiple Personality Disorder?"

"Absolutely not!"

"Pathological liar?"

"Leave her alone, Dot." Yakko ordered with exasperation. Milk gazed at him in grateful adoration. Dot fell silent but continued to look thoughtful.

Milk and Yakko continued to flirt for the rest of the drive. Dot studiously ignored them while Twist continued to try to get an unimpressed Wakko to talk to her telepathically.

When they arrived at the airport it appeared time to go there separate ways. Milk kissed Yakko gently on the cheek before heading for her gate. Yakko and Wakko watched her go, both hypnotized by the delicate swing of her shapely hips.

Yakko sighed. "God she was hot. A bit scattered, but hot."

"Oh, can we just get _on_ with this already?!" Dot demanded.

"Just give us a minute…" Yakko said as the distant figure of Milk turned a corner and was gone.

"…And we're done."

Dot shook her head. "Pigs. You guys are _pigs_."

"Oh, as if _you_ don't go into full Tex Avery glory when _you_ see a hot guy." Wakko pointed out.

"We aren't talking about me." She stated primly. "We are talking about you, and you guys are pigs."

"We're red blooded American males. Get used to it."

A large waving American flag descended behind the brothers as they stood with they're hands over there hearts.

"Wherever there is a tight tank top, we'll be there." Yakko started.

"Wherever there is thong cleavage, we'll be there." Wakko continued.

"And when it's nude model day at the art center, we'll be there…very quickly…"

"And if someone looked at me the way you were just looking at her…?" Dot asked pointedly.

Yakko frowned. "I'd maul his face off, but that's neither here nor there."

"You're a Neanderthal. And a hypocrite."

"She's seventeen! You're ten! Anyone making eyes at a ten year old girl deserves a good face mauling! As well as the forcible removal of certain body parts. And as your oldest brother it is my _responsibility_ to provide those services to anyone who I think is a threat."

Dot rolled her eyes as Twist turned to Wakko hopefully.

"Wakko, f sum1 perved on me wud u mawl his face off?"

Wakko thought for a moment.

"It would depend on how big the guy was."

(XxX) I've noticed in several fics that the authors would leave notes in the middle of the story to tell the reader something they were more than capable of figuring out on their own. So in keeping with that I'm here to tell you that the three x's are to serve as page breaks. Imagine how confused you would be had I not explained that to you. You can show your gratitude by sending money.

"The kayak? Wakko, why'd you bring the kayak?"

The Warners had spent the better part of an hour deep in the trenches of airport security. When Wakko had sent his gag bag through the x-ray machine the puzzled screeners had made him pull everything out.

"It's Florida. I thought we might need it for when the hurricanes come."

"What hurricanes?"

"It's _Florida_."

"…Good point."

Once airport security was confident that Wakko wasn't hiding Osama, Iraq, or WMD's in his bag and packed everything back up another half hour had past. Though some sprinting was required they were able to make it to there terminal with time to spare.

The quartet had just managed to commandeer a row of seats when…

"Yakko!"

At the sound of his name Yakko spun around only to find himself face to chest with-

"Milk?" He asked surprised. "What are you doing in this terminal?"

"I traded in my ticket, I am coming with you!"

"…Huh?"

"I have found myself suddenly in love with you!"

"Really?!" Yakko exclaimed looking exceptionally pleased. Wakko and Dot appeared thunderstruck.

"Oh yes! And a love like ours should never be separated!" She bounced slightly and Yakko had a hard time keeping his eyes on her face.

"Sure, whatever you say."

"I am thinking we should have a spring wedding!" She continued to bounce.

"Sure, …uh…" Suddenly Yakko's eyes shot up. "Wait, what?"

"When you find your one true love there is no point in waiting, we are meant to be together forever!!"

Yakko stared at her in bewilderment. Suddenly Wakko didn't mind so much that he hadn't gotten a chance to talk to her.

"Did I mention that I'm underage? That might put a damper in the ole wedding plans…"

"Then we will simply have a long engagement. I will wait for you as long as it takes!" With that decided Milk plopped down in an empty seat and pulled out a bridal magazine. Yakko spun around to face his sibs, barely concealed panic on his face.

"Oh man, what the hell just happened??"

"Wernt u payin attn? u jst got engaged. Congrats. ;) "

"Things were going so well! Then she had to go and play the commitment card!"

Wakko's gaze darkened and he shook his head. "_Just_ like a woman."

"What am I going to do?? She's obviously crazy, and not the good kind of crazy either!"

"Yakko, what is she?" Dot asked suddenly.

He paused, confused. "A …girl?"

"No, I said _what_ is she?"

"Human?"

Dot rolled her eyes. "No. She's a _Sue_. And what are you?"

"A …guy?"

"And they call you the smart one…" She muttered. "No Yakko, you're a canon lead. What do Sues do when they meet the canon lead?"

Yakko's shoulders slumped. He knew where she was going with this now. "They fall in love with 'em."

"And what does the canon lead do in response?"

"Falls in love right back." He answered morosely. "But I _don't_ love her! I just think she's fun to look at!"

"She's just following the standard Mary Sue script. She has no reason to assume that you _wouldn't_ love her. You're just going to have to explain to her that there's been a misunderstanding. I mean, what's the worse that could happen?"

"She could have me whacked."

"Sues don't normally do that." Dot said with a raised eyebrow.

"Sues don't normally get rejected by their canons either." Yakko replied nervously.

"Yakko, just go talk to her. It's what you're good at anyway right?"

Reluctantly Yakko stepped over to where his fiancée was sitting and sat down beside her. She was thoughtfully considering a particular page in her magazine.

"Uh, …Milk?"

"What do you think about blue?"

"Huh?"

"For the bridesmaids dresses. Robins egg blue."

"Milk, there's not going to be any bridesmaids."

Milk looked up in surprise. "Huh?"

Yakko took a deep breath wondering if he was going to end teh evening in physical pain. "There's not going to be a wedding. I'm real sorry if I led you on or anything, but I don't love you. How could I? We just met!"

Milk stared at him in silence with a blank expression. Nervously he tried not to let himself fidget under her gaze. After a moment she looked back down at her magazine.

"I was thinking we should get a Duran Duran cover band for our reception. Unless you had another group in mind?"

Stunned, Yakko's jaw dropped. "What?... I just said…"

"Sweetheart," Milk said with a knowing smile, perfect love and understanding in her eyes. "It is perfectly natural for the groom to experience a little cold feet. I know how great our love is. It will see us through. It is lucky that I am so in tune with you, otherwise I would have almost believed you were serious."

Yakko groaned. He had never had a migraine before but was sure this must be what one felt like. He decided to try again.

"It's more complicated than that. I'm afraid I _can't_ marry you because I'm… uh… lactose intolerant! I couldn't marry a girl named after a dairy product. Even if I wanted to. I'd get cramps. Very unpleasant. Oh, and the bloating! You don't even want to _go_ there!"

Milk reached up and cupped his face in her delicate hand. "Oh Yakko, fear not, we will find a way. Even if I have to change my name I promise we will find a way to be together!"

Yakko slumped, disappointed. "That's… great. Just great." With a sigh he stood and went to rejoin his siblings.

"Would you three be willing to play along if I faked my own death?"

"That probably wouldn't work. She'd want to come to the funeral." Dot said.

"Crap! Why did I have to be born so damn good looking?!"

"It's a mystery." Dot answered dryly.

"You could pretend to be gay." Wakko offered.

"I spent a solid half hour flirting with her, she'd see right through that!"

"It'd be good for a laugh though."

"Can we focus? Please?"

"Well, it would."

"I don-" He was interrupted by the booming intercom speaker right above them.

"Now boarding flight 415 nonstop to Dallas, rows 1-15."

"That's us, let's go." Yakko said tiredly. One by one they filed onto the plain. Dot took a seat by the window, Wakko next to her, and Twist next to him. In the row directly behind then the seat by the window was already taken leaving Yakko in the middle and Milk on the aisle beside him.

As they settled into there seats a voice spoke:

"A-another Warner? I don't believe it!"

Yakko looked up in surprise at the woman seated next to him as Dot, Wakko, and Twist stood in they're seats to look back at them.

The woman's eyes widened. "_Four_ other Warners?? This is incredible!!"

The woman, an Warner herself, staired back and forth from sib to sib. She had shoulder length straight pink hair styled in a severe blunt cut and wore a tank top with the playboy bunny logo with an impossibly tiny mini skirt.

"I've never met another Warner before, I thought I was the only one!"

Yakko sighed. "Let me guess, you're _my_ twin sister, right?"

"What? No, I'm not related to you at all."

He frowned. "But you just said you were a Warner."

"Well, yeah. Just _look_ at me!"

"You do realize that Warner is my sibs and my last name and not the name of our species, right?"

"Whatever! So, what's your name?"

"Yakko." Yakko replied warily.

"Well it's great to meet you Yakko. My name is Katarona Anelia Solstroma Emmanuella Yolistra. But people just call me K.A.S.E.Y. It sounds less pretentious."

"Yeah." Dot piped up. "Nothing says 'I'm just like you' than a name spelt entirely in caps!"

"Exactly!"

"Perfect." Yakko moaned. "Just what we need. Another Sue."

"How do you know she's a Sue?" Wakko wondered.

"The incredibly long name is a pretty good hint."

Dot looked alarmed. "Wait, I've got an incredibly long name. Am I a Sue?"

Yakko shook his head. "No. Sues don't have flaws. You do-"

"No I don't!"

"That's one of them right there. See? Not a Sue."

Dot glared at him in offense before tossing herself down into her seat and crossing her arms in a huff.

K.A.S.E.Y. gazed adoringly at Yakko. "So… Yakko… I find myself suddenly in love with you…"

"God Damnit! I hate this writer!"

Dot's eyes went wide as she spun back around. "Oooohhh you shouldn't say that out loud. She'll hear you and then you'll be punished!"

"I'm _already_ being punished."

Milk leaned forward in her seat so she could pin K.A.S.E.Y. with a scathing glare. "For your information he is already taken."

K.A.S.E.Y.'s glance was dissmisive. "I don't see a ring on your finger."

Yakko sighed miserably. They weren't even in the air yet and he was already ready to get off the plane.

2 hours later they were in the air and well on they're way. The snacks had already been handed out and the inflight movie wasn't worth paying attention to. Milk was still deep in her bridal magazine while K.A.S.E.Y. was perusing a baby naming book.

"What do you think of 'Ophelia' for a girl?" She asked.

"You can name the kid whatever you want. It won't be mine." Yakko stated flatly.

She stared blankly at him for a moment. "Or 'Slacko' for a boy?"

"Honey," Milk interrupted. "Do you want lilacs or lilies at the reception?"

With a miserable moan Yakko buried his face in his hands.

Wakko sat back down in his seat where he had been standing watching his brother try to handle the fighting Sues.

"I wonder if the kids in the Harry Potter fandom have to deal with stuff like this."

"Bloody hell!" Harry said as he apparated into Twist's empty seat. "I have so many Sues they had to open a new house to hold them all, and I have enough long-lost siblings and children-who-came-back-from-the-future to staff my own Quidditch team!"

"That sucks."

"Blimey, you have no idea. Incidentally, I'm dodging a Sue at the moment so if she shows up you never saw me, right?"

"Saw who?"

"Cheers!" Harry said as he disapparated. Almost immediately after the seat Harry'd just left was filled with a leggy purple haired girl with glittering eyes.

"I'm looking for a boy, 'is name is 'arry Potter. I'm 'is girlfriend. 'ave you seen 'im?"

Wakko stared silently at her before pointing straight up.

"Thanks!" She called, and was gone.

"I wonder who thought purple hair and glitter eyes was a good idea." Dot mused thoughtfully. "How would you match an outfit to that?"

"Ikr? It liek ttly suxors! Lol!" Twist exclaimed.

"I have no idea what she just said, but I'm going to pretend like I do." Dot said as she went back to listening to her ipod.

"Where were you?" Wakko asked.

"?" Twist asked.

"You weren't sitting there a minute ago. Harry Potter and then some purple haired chick was sitting there."

"No tehy wer not. I hve bin heer teh hole tym."

"I foresee this becoming a running gag with you."

"?"

"Nevermind."

"What makes you think you are good enough for him?" Milk's loud demand caught the sibs attention and all three stood up in there seats to watch the show. Yakko was sitting slumped forward with his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands as he stared stonely at the back of Wakko's seat, completely ignoring the Sues rapidly heating argument.

"At least I'm the same _species_!" K.A.S.E.Y. retorted.

"True love knows no boundaries! And besides, I am _part_ Warner!"

This was enough to catch yakkos attention. "How the hell are _you_ part Warner?"

"Well, 78 years ago my grandmother was dating Lon Borax and they liked to get kinda kinky in the bedroom. On the night my mother was conceived they took the bottle of ink Lon used to draw you and shoved it right up-"

"Woahokaythat'senough!!!" Yakko exclaimed. "That is not a mental image I want crawling around my brain!"

"But it's already in mine!!" Dot cried as she clutched at her hair. She began banging her forhead against the window frame. "Must… repress…mental…image…"

"Wakko grab her before she hurts herself!" Yakko exclaimed alarmed.

Wakko grabbed his sister an dpulled her back down into her seat. Now she was clawing at her eyes and moaning. "Oooooohhhh my virgin eyes… It _burns_!"

Yakko stood up and leaned over the back of Wakko's seat and as the brothers tended to they're sister K.A.S.E.Y. leaned towards Milk and said smugly; "That doesn't just make you part Warner. That also makes you directly related to them. Like a _cousin_!"

"Only distantly!"

"Still close enough to make them freak out. You saw how they reacted. Face it honey, he's mine now!"

With a shriek of rage Milk lunged at K.A.S.E.Y. Yakko had to leap over Wakko's seat-back to get out of the way. On the upside, watching the catfight completely distracted dot from her self distructive frenzy.

All eyes where on the Sues as they made earnest attempts to rip out each other's flowing hair. All the women on the plane looked scandalized as they attempted to distract there children. None of the men however, seemed to mind at all. Some were even placing bets on who the winner would be. Those bets would all end in a draw, the fight coming to an abrupt end by a sudden fit of turbulence, forcing the Sues to retake they're seats and settle on just glaring at each other.

Deciding that he didn't want to go back to sitting between the Sues, especially now that they had come to blows Yakko pulled Dot into his lap and took her seat. A quick cuddle was all it took to keep Dot from getting to indignant about having her seat stolen out from under her. Plus, sitting in his lap gave her the boost she needed to really be able to see out of the window.

Turbulance began to buffet the plain. The Warner's didn't mind so much but eventually another passenger, who was feeling quiet airsick sent a flight attendant up to the cockpit to see what was going on. A few minutes later her panicked voice sounded over the intercom. "Does anyone know how to fly a plane?? Both of the pilots have just suddenly died for no reason other than that it's really dramatic!!"

"That's convenient." Wakko said calmly.  
"And unfortunate." Yakko added.

K.A.S.E.Y. stood up dramatically. All eyes were on her as if she was under a spotlight.

"No one worry! I can fly this plane!"

"That's also convenient." Wakko said.  
"And probably just as unfortunate." Came Yakko's reply.

K.A.S.E.Y. pushed past Milk and into the aisle but Milk was not to be left behind. She also stood up dramatically taking the spotlight for herself.

"I also know how to save this plane!"

Realizing the potential for disaster this raised Yakko stood up as well. It wasn't dramatic and their was no spotlight. He placed Dot back into her seat and addressed her and her brother.

"Stay here and buckle up. I'm going to go chaperone the Sues."

"Yakko are we going to crash?" Dot asked with terrified eyes. Wakko was beginning to look frightened as well.

"If this really is a DWC fic than I wouldn't put it past her to nosedive us right into the ground!" He said.

Dot began to whimper.

"Wakko stop." Yakko chided. "You're scaring your sister."

"Scaring _her_?? I'm on this plane too!!"

Yakko sprinted up the isle and arrived in the cockpit just as K.A.S.E.Y. and Milk were settling themselves into the pilots' seats.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing??" He demanded as K.A.S.E.Y. switched off the auto pilot and took control of the plane.

"Of course I do. I was the youngest person to ever get a pilot's license. I've been flying since I was a fetus!"

"…Do I even want to know how?"

"Sheer raw talent. There's not a machine in this universe that I can't operate!"

"So you're a technoSue?"

"I'm a _pilot_. And a monster truck driver, and a BMXer and a mechanic, and a Playboy model an-"

"We get the picture. You're a Sue as created by a guy and Milk's a Sue as created by a girl. I get it. I don't particularly _care_, but I get it."

"Fine. Though I do wonder how the little creampuff thinks she can be of any help here."

Milk held up her pendent. "I am a witch. I ca-"

"What was that? A bitch you say? At least you're honest about it!"

As the Sues launched into another screaming match K.A.S.E.Y. absently let go of the controls. Now pilotless the plane pitched forward and began a nosedive that the girls didn't even seem to notice. Passenger screams sounded down the corridor and Yakko was clearly able to pick out the high pitched screaming of his sister. She had a set of lungs on her and when she screamed, it carried.

"Whoever lands the plane gets a kiss from me!" Yakko shouted, thinking quickly.

The Sues dropped there argument like it never even happened. K.A.S.E.Y. taking back control of the plane and Milk using he rmagic pendent to create a visable trail leading to Dallas.

Once the plane had leveled out and he was sure they wouldn't lose attention again Yakko made his way on jelly legs back to his siblings seats.

"You guys okay?" He asked when he reached them.

Dot had gripped her armrests so hard she had embedded her fingers in the plastic and Wakko was busy trying to extract her while a trembling Twist looked on in concern.

"Ow ow OW!" Dot cried. "I want to still be able to _use_ my fingers when you're done!"

"Hold still then!"

Yakko squeezed into the row and helped free Dot then pulled both sibs into a tight hug. Twist looked ridiculously offended not to be included but no one noticed.

"You sure you guys are okay?" He asked again.

They both nodded shakily.

"I thought we were done for!" Dot cried. "I thought DWC was going to mash us into unidentifiable paste on the ground!"

"I really thought we were going to be paste too." Wakko confessed.

"_Nobody_ is going to be paste. The Sues have everything under control now."

"U shldnt keep callin tehm tht /:-( !!" Twist snapped. "Itz a derogatry term 4 a porly ritten & porly thawt out 2 deminsional oc w/ teh depth ov a tidal pool butt teh ability 2 do n e thng."

"In other words it's a completely accurate description of what they are." Yakko said pointedly.

"Thtz horrbl! Ur horrbl! ppl put a lot ov wrk in2 creating there ocs!"

"Not nearly enough."

"OMGWTF! I dun c _U_ riting n e thng!"

"Doesn't matter. It's still me and my family that has to put up with whatever stupid fantasy fulfillment scenario the writer throws at us. And some are way more annoying than others."

"And we _know_ annoying," Wakko spoke up. "We _specialize_ in annoying."

Twist growled and turned away in a huff, crossing her arms.

Once again Yakko took Dot's seat. He didn't have to steal it from her this time. By the time he had made the decision to sit down she was already in the process of crawling into his lap.

"This whole story is going to suck for us, isn't it." Dot said. It wasn't a question.

"Looks that way."

"She's already killed me once. She might pick on someone else for a while or she may go straight for me again." She said sadly.

"Come on sis, we don't know how this is all going to turn out."

"I notice I'm the only canon not associated with a Sue yet."

At the word 'Sue' Twist pointedly cleared her throat, but was ignored.

"I bet she's just saving the worst for me." Dot continued. She sniffed and buried her face in Yakko's shirt. "I don't like this. I want to go home."

"But if we go home," Yakko said softly as he stroked her hair, "the story will never be finished and we'll be stuck in limbo with these Sues (another ignored throat clearing from Twist) forever. Besides, this is labeled as a parody and not a tragedy so I bet it'll all turn out okay in the end."

"I still hate this."

"You and me both sister sibling."

(XxX)

The rest of the flight passed with relative ease, though each instance of turbulence was met with screams from various passengers. The mood wasn't helped by the in-flight movie.

"_Flight 93_??? Who the hell shows _Flight 93_ on an _airplane_?!?"

Everyone tried to settle in for the last leg of the flight. Dot had closed the window shade by her and Yakko's seat. Looking 30,000 feet straight down wasn't fun after nearly falling it. Twist was still fuming silently. The fact that they didn't care made her fume even more. But at least she was quiet and the Sues were occupied giving the sibs some time to spend just with each other. And after the scare they'd had they needed the time to reconnect.

Being in such a horrible fic had promted them to start talking about some of the best fics they had been in.

"There's that one about us as grown-ups." Dot said.

"Which one?" Yakko asked.

"The one with Buster."

"Which one?"

"Both of them. But especially the one with the scary spider guy."

"Oh yeah. You know that one would make an excellent movie."

"Though it would probably be rated 'R'." Wakko pointed out.

"Even better." Yakko stated. "An 'R' rated animated movie that wasn't a Japanese porno. It would be groundbreaking."

"Do you know what other fic would make a good movie?" Dot asked suddenly.

"What?"

"The one where we get kidnapped by pirates."

Yakko frowned. "Story wise it _would_ make a good movie but there's no way in hell I'd be willing to live through that nightmare again. We're based from a comedy show, how sad is it that so many of our fics make me wake up screaming?"

Dot thought for a moment before stating: "We have sadistic fans."

Yakko frowned harder and scrunched his shoulders. "I hate them all."

"Don't _say_ that! They can _hear_ you!" Dot hissed as she glanced quickly around in paranoia.

"All I want is one fic. _One_ fic that's well written, with a decent plot, where we don't _die_ at the end! Or nearly die, or get hurt, or separated, or fear for ourselves or each other in any way that-"

"It'd be a pretty boring story if nothing happened." Wakko said.

"It could take place in Hawaii in one of those nice little tourist resorts and the whole plot could center around us trying to find the perfect non-alcoholic fruit juice mixer to sip on the beach while being fanned by total hotties, that don't want to marry or reproduce with us, who are willing to do any and every thing we ask them to do."

"Sounds great, but I doubt people would find it a very interesting read though."

"Well, someone could get eaten by a shark. We just wouldn't be in the water at the time. We'd be the ones on the beach yelling 'Look out! Shark!'"

Dot raised an eyebrow an dsmiled. "How would it end?"

"The guy that got eaten, well he was a bajillionaire who loved our show and he left everything he owned to us in his will and we use his fortune to live a life of luxury for the rest of our very very long lives."

"You've thought this out, haven't you?" Wakko asked.

"Yup." Yakko stated proudly. Dot snorted.

"And how does _your_ version end?" He demanded.

"With me married to Orlando Bloom." She answered without hesitation.

Yakko appeared surprised. "Not Mel Gibson?"

"Well… No… He's kinda crazy now. And not fun zany crazy either. Scary religious zealot crazy. And he's kinda old. Orlando's young, fun to look at, and he hasn't gone off the deep end yet."

"'Yet' being the key word here…" Yakko muttered to Wakko, who snickered.

"Why do so many celebrities go crazy anyway? Is it the pressure?" Wakko asked.

"I think there's something in their imported crystal spring water." Yakko suggested.

"Or their Botox."

"I don't think guy celebrities get Botox." Dot pointed out. "Maybe there's a mind control device in their Blackberries."

Yakko shook his head. "I have a Blackberry and I'm not crazy. Well,… not any crazier then I was to begin with."

"How often do you use it?"

"Aren't they usually pretty normal until some type of church gets a hold of them?" Wakko asked. "Isn't that what happened to Tom Cruise?"

Yakko glanced around nervously. "A valid point, though we should probably abandon this line of conversation before we start pissing off the religious readers."

Dot scoffed. "What are they gonna do? Smite us?"

"If they're fic writers as well, than yes."

"Fuck!"

"Yeah, _that'll_ appease them."

"Or they might just write a fic converting us into pious well behaved churchgoers." Wakko said.

"Even worse! I'd rather be smited! …Smoted? …Smit?" Dot turned to Yakko. "What's the past tense of 'smite'?"

"I would know?"

"Well you _should_ Mr. Aardvark abating abet abdicating."

"Sh_ut_ up."

"Good evening passengers, this is your captain speaking," K.A.S.E.Y.'s voice sounded over the intercom. "We will be landing in Dallas in about 15 minutes, please buckle up and return your tray tables to the full upright position. Thanks again for flying K.A.S.E.Y. Air."

Yakko's eyebrows shot up. "You gotta be kidding me."

Dot grinned at him. "Just think Yakko, that's the mother of your future baby!"

"Like hell! What would I want kids for? I'm already raising _you_ guys!"

"He said, making it sound as much of a burden as possible." Dot said looking hurt.

"Oh come on! I did _not_ mean it like that!"

Dot began to climb out of his lap. "Nope. I'm gonna go sit in Wakko's lap now."

Yakko grabbed her waist halting her escape. "Aww come on sis…"

"No. It's too late; you're a jerk so I'm going over here now." She pulled free and clambered into her other brother's lap.

"So… Does that mean I'm the favorite now?" Wakko asked.

Dot nodded sagely.

Wakko calmly turned to Yakko. "HA!! Yes! In your _face_!!"

Yakko looked offended.

"And I'll be taking your plaque!" He said gloatingly as he pulled the 'World's Greatest Brother' plaque from Yakko's pocket.

Yakko frowned and was just about to launch into a lecture on the wrongness of choosing favorites among family members when he was destracted by the sensation of the plane tilting slightly forward. Opening the window cover he could see the lights of the Dallas airport blinking in the distance. When he turned back around he saw all three of his siblings doubled over in there seats.

"What are you doing?"

"Assuming the crash position." Wakko answered.

"We're landing, not crashing."

"We're not risking it."

Yakko considered they're point for a moment, and then curled into the crash position himself. Half of the other passengers followed suit.

As per Mary Sue rules the landing was absolutely flawless. It made a 40 year veteran look like an amateur. It was like landing on a pillow. Thrilled not to be dead the passengers erupted into thunderous applause as K.A.S.E.Y. and Milk exited the cockpit. They both beamed and took they're bows.

Since they were both standing right by the door the Warner's were unab;e to escape being rejoined by the Sues as they exited into the terminal.

"So," K.A.S.E.Y. said as she leaned towards Yakko. "How about that kiss?"

Yakko blinked. "Huh?"

"The kiss you promised." Milk spoke up. "You said whoever landed the plane would get a kiss."

"Eeeeeehhhh, …oh, right… the uh, the kiss…" Yakko thought hard hoping this wouldn't be the time his quick wit decided to abandon him. Wakko and Dot watched him with wide eyes, unsure if he would be able to save himself.

"You see, …I uh… I was expecting my one t-true love to land the plane. But you both landed it. Together. So in fairness I would have to kiss you both and that just wouldn't be fair to my uh, soul mate. It would kinda be like cheating, and ya know, that's just not the kinda guy I am."

"_Nice_ save." Wakko whispered to Dot, who nodded impressed.

Yakko waited, with held breath, hoping they would buy it. The Sues thought for a moment and then nodded each obviously believing that he was talking about them.

"I admit it would pain me greatly to see you kiss another." Milk said.

"Seeing you kiss your cousin would be pretty sick." K.A.S.E.Y. agreed.

"He was not talking about you!" Milk snapped.

"What, you think he was talking about _you_? This is Texas, not Kentucky. Incest is frowned upon here."

Milk gasped and her eyes raged.

Yakko decided to ignore them.

"Come on sibs. We need to go get a hotel room."

"You know," K.A.S.E.Y. said sidling up beside him. "You and I can get a room and your cousin can stay with your sibs."

"Absolutely not!" Milk raged. "My _fiancée_ and _I _will be getting a room while _you_ watch his siblings."

"Actually _I _will be getting a room with my sibs. With _just_ my sibs." Yakko stated firmly.

"But honey," Milk started, looking confused. "Do you not want us to have some time _alone_?"

"He'd be better off staying with me." K.A.S.E.Y. interrupted. She gave Yakko a suggestive wink. "I'd show him a better time.

Milk looked horrified while Yakko looked like he was in the beginning stages of another migraine. He gave his siblings a pleading look and after a quiet sigh Dot nodded. Bolstered Yakko turned his attention back to the Sues.

"I couldn't possibly leave my sibs. They get _terrible_ separation anxiety…"

Right on cue Dot squeaked and wrapped herself around Yakko's leg. She looked up at him with huge doe eyes.

"You're _leaving_ us?? You can't _leave_ us!! We don't know where we are!"

Wakko lurched forward and glomped himself around Yakko's other leg.

"What if something scary happens?? We won't know what to do!!"

They both burst into loud hysterical sobs as they clung to they're brother like he was a life preserver.

Yakko shrugged helplessly. "See? Just _look_ at them!"

Dot and Wakko looked up at the Sues with sad pathetic eyes.

"How could I possibly leave them this upset? What kind of brother would that make me?"

The Sues looked disappointed.

"I guess you are right." Milk said, "If they are that attached to you-"

Dot delivered a whimper truly worthy of an Oscar and buried her face in Yakko's khakis.

"It wouldn't be right to ask you to leave them overnight." K.A.S.E.Y. finished.

Yakko looked down at his sibs still attached to his legs.

"Thank you." He mouthed silently. Dot winked and Wakko gave a quick smile.

"Well anyway, we'd better get going. I need to get them settled and in bed and all that legal guardian type stuff and what not. We'll see you in the morning." Yakko said, adding an "Unfortunately." Under his breath.

He made a big show out of detangling his legs from his sibs, just for good measure.

"You owe us." Dot whispered.

"Those video ipods you've been wanting? They're yours."

"Score!"

After he got everyone standing again he put his arms around they're shoulders and began to lead them away. Dot kept sniffling pathetically, just for authenticities sake. They'd only taken a few steps when Yakko realized something was missing.

Ever since leaving the plain Twist had been silent, nervous. Her siblings had largely ignored her today and now she was unsure if they would allow her to share there hotel room. She didn't have money for a room of he rown and the thought of being separated from her beloved twin was almost physically painful.

"Twist what are you doing? Are you coming or not?" Yakko called. Twist's face lit up.

"She's coming with us?" Dot asked.

"She kinda has to, doesn't she?" Yakko replied. "For the duration of this story, or until the writer says otherwise, she _is_ our sister. That makes her my responsibility. And if there's one thing I always do, it's take care of my family and at least for right now she qualifies."

With a shriek of happiness Twist launched herself at him tackling him right to the floor in a huge hug.

"I knu ud cum round :D! "

"I'm not 'coming around' I'm being responsible! Don't make me regret it!"

":D!!!"

Her happy expression never changing she let go of Yakko and flung herself at Wakko. After enveloping him in a crushing hug she turned to hug Dot, but thought better of it when she saw that her sister had adopted a 'crouching tiger hidden dragon'esk karate pose.

Luckily for the Warners the closest hotel was right across the street from the airport. Also luckily for the Warners they didn't have to make that walk with the Sues, who had had to go retrieve checked luggage. Unluckily for the warners it was after 10:30 at night and they had to walk around outside.

"Stay close sibs," Yakko said protectively. "We're in deliverance country."

"We're in Texas. What's so scary about Texas?" Dot demanded.

"George Bush, Dr. Phil, Joan Crawford, Kate Capshaw, Shelley Duvall, Matthew McConaughey, Hilary Duff, need I go on?"

Wakko shuddered.

"Howdy ya'll!" A man in a horrible sequined dress shirt with rhinestone boots called out.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! RUN AWAY!!!" The sibs ran like hell to the hotel where they checked in as quickly as possible, bolted to they're room and barricaded the door with the large wood armwoire.

"Hating this!" Dot declaired as she hid behind the bed.

"It's only for the night." Yakko assured her. "We'll be in Orlando by noon tomorrow."

"f teh hickz dun eat us 1st. O-o" Twist said warily eyeing the baracade.

"Come on everyone let's just go to bed. The sooner we fall asleep the sooner we'll wake up and get out of here." Yakko said.

With four kids sharing one bathroom it was almost an hour before everyone was finally settling down in they're beds. Wakko and Twist in one bed, Yakko and Dot in the other.

"Goodnight ya'll." Yakko drawled as he switched off the light.

"_Not_ funny." Dot snapped.

For the next five or ten minutes the room was silent. Until…

creak

creak

creak

"Oh yeah baby!"

The wall against there headboards began to vibrate.

"Oooohh God." Yakko moaned as he rolled over and buried his face in his pillow. Wakko and Twist were snickering.

The creaking continued for several minutes before quickening rapidly in pace.

creak creak creak

creak creak creak

"Oh yeah baby, almost there!"

creak creak creak

creak creak creak

"Bombs away!"

"Hating this!!" Dot shrieked.

**Author's Note**: If you would like to see Milk and K.A.S.E.Y. in all there Sueish glory, head over to my deviantart page for an illustration. Link is in my member profile!


	3. We're Off to Flame the Writer!

Chapter Three: We're Off to Flame the Writer!

Passing through the airport security metal detector with the dead weight and limp bulk of his little sister in his arms was rather tricky, but Yakko somehow managed it without jostling her too much. At themost she had just mumbled something inaudible and snuggled further into his shoulder.

"How come you never carry _me_ around when I'm sleepy?" Wakko demanded grumpily.

Yakko looked down at him. "Shrink six inches and lose thirty pounds and we'll talk."

Wakko's eyes narrowed. "Are you calling me fat?"

"I'm calling you tall and heavy. Make of it what you will."

None of the Warner's were in a very good mood this morning. Since they'd had to report to the airport an hour and a half early to make it through security before they're 8:30 am flight, and they'd also needed time to get ready and eat breakfast they'd had to get up at 5am. And since the couple next door had continued they're bombing raid long into the night everyone was running on very little sleep.

When the bombing squad had begun it's third raid a frusterated Dot had burst into tears and a downright pissed Yakko had finally stormed out, banged on there door and made them aware of the unwilling audience consisting entirely of children aged 15 and under. When informed that one of there audience members was a 10 year old girl with only a rudimentary knowledge of sex who was now in tears because she couldn't understand why their had to be so much bombing and why couldn't we all just get along, the intrepid duo was suitably embarresssed enough to call it a night. But the damage had already been done. It was well past midnight before anyone had managed to fall asleep and Dot had awoken twice after confusing dreams involving B-52 bomber planes.

The next morning as they tried to choke down there cold complimentary hotel breakfasts Dot had fallen asleep on Yakko's shoulder, Wakko had fallen asleep in his cheerios and had to be rescued by Twist before he had a chance to drown in his milk, Twist was still moody about suddenly becoming the black sheep of the family and Yakko was dreading having to meet back up with the Sues.

When they made it to there terminal Yakko set Dot down in one of the seats. Though he tried to be gentle it was still enough of a jostle to wake her up.

"Everyone in the bunker, they're bombing the city!" She mumbled as she jerked awake. She was bewildered to find herself in the middle of the airport.

"Did you have a nice nap?" Wakko asked jealously.

"There were bombs." She said still looking confused.

"Scratchy's gonna have a field day with her." Wakko said smugly as Dot calmly curled up in the fetal position on her seat.

"Get off her case Wakko; it's too early for this." Yakko snapped irritably.

"Oh sure, defend your precious _Dot_."

"_Enough_ Wakko. If I was harping on her for no good reason you'd be down my throat too."

"No I wouldn't!"

"That's why he's the favorite." Dot said, still in the fetal position, as she reached into Wakko's pocket, retrieved the 'World's Greatest Brother' plaque and handed it to Yakko who accepted it gleefully.

"And that's exactly why I do it." He said to Wakko smugly.

"Nevermind." Dot said and she yanked the plague back out of Yakko's hands and gave it back to Wakko.

"You're supposed to defend me 'cause you love me, not because it makes you the favorite."

Yakko gave Wakko an evil look. "Mark my words, I _will_ get that plaque back."

"Yeah, you wish-oooh look snacks!" Wakko had just spoted a little vender roughly 40 feet away selling an assortment of trail mixes and candy. "Let's stock up. Those little bags of peanuts they hand out on the plane taste like plastic."

"They wouldn't if you'd _open_ them first. Though I guess it would be a good idea to fortify ourselves before the Sues show up." Yakko agreed. He tapped Dot, who was still curled up and dozing, on the shoulder.

"We're getting snacks. You want anything?" He asked when she opened her eyes.

"Gum."

"That's all?"

"It keeps my ears from popping."

"Okay, we'll be back in a few minutes. If you need us we'll be right over there." He said as he pointed out the vender. She nodded and closed her eyes again.

He led Wakko and Twist over to the vender and allowed them to pick out a few items each. After grabbing a few things for himself as well as a candy bar and pack of strawberry gum for Dot he stepped into line to pay for it all. He had just finished digging the money out of his wallet when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He knew it wasn't either of the twins, since they were both in frontof him and it was at the wrong angle to have been Dot. With a heavy sigh he turned around. Sure enough their was Milk beaming cheerfully at him. The whole room was lit up with the glory of her presence. Her hair fluttered prettily in the non-existent breeze. This would normally be the part where several paragraphs would be written detailing her outfit, but Yakko was too tired, as well as too uninterested in fashion to bother. He would just let Dot handle that when the story shifted to her perspective. Speaking of Dot he glanced over to check on her. She was still in her seat, sitting now rather than laying, and was in the middle of a conversation with some guy sitting a seat down from her.

Even though he had yet to acknowledge her presence Milk continued to beam.

"Hello my love. Did you sleep well?"

She was definitely more of a morning person than he was.

"Let's not get into that." He answered.

"Hey there, hot stuff." A voice off to his right called. He turned to look and saw K.A.S.E.Y. sashaying towards them. Evry man she passed turned to look as her, several receiving smacks and scoldings from significant others.

When they came into proximity with each other the Sues cast each other cool glares before turning there full attention on Yakko.

"So sweetie," Milk asked. "I never asked, but why are we going to Orlando?"

"I've got a bone to pick with a certain writer."

"What has she done?"

"She's dived face first into cliché town and is making a mockery of our fandom. And I've kinda had it. I'm not getting paid enough to put up with this."

"We're getting paid??" Wakko exclaimed.

"Oh she's gonna pay. One way or another DWC is gonna pay."

Milk swooned. "Oh Yakko! I love when you get all perturbed!"

"Did she honestly just use the word 'perturbed' in conversation?" Wakko demanded. "Who does that?"

"Suethors with thesauruses." Yakko said dryly.

(XxX)

As her brothers and sorta-sister went to get snacks Dot reclosed her eyes and attempted to nap. It wasn't going to well. The airport was simply too loud, the chair was too hard, and their was a dip in the seat in the shape of a butt imprint and it was absolutely killing her back. Giving up on ever being comfortable she sat up with a sigh. She was bored. She didn't feel like listening to her iPod and annoying her brothers by texting them with emoticons was rather redundant with Twist around. Her feet didn't touch the floor so she kicked them back and forth absently. It wasn't too long before she realized that she was being watched. She glanced to her right and caught the eyes of a 20-something human male sitting a seat down from her.

"This is probably a real stupid question, but are you Dot Warner? From Animaniacs?"

"Yeah, that's me." She answered cheerfully. She always got a kick out of meeting fans.

"Well hell, I watch your show all the time. Even bought all of the DVDs. Aren't you just the cutest thing?"

Dot grinned which showed off her dimples. The man grinned back and held out his hand. Thinking he wanted to shake she allowed him to grasp her hand, but he surprised her by kissing the back of it instead.

"It's a pleasure, madam. The name's WakkoBob."

"That's …odd." Dot commented. "It's almost the same as my brother's."

"Told ya I was a fan."

He reached forward and ran his forefinger down the side of her face. She froze at the touch.

"Has anyone ever told you you're a thousand times prettier in real life?" He asked softly.

"Yeah, I uh… I get that a lot." She said nervously as he put his hand on her arm. She looked down at it, then back up in time to catch the hungry way he was looking at her. "I uh, …I, …it's been great meeting you and all but I think I hear my brother calling me."

Before he could respond she leapt down from her seat and forced herself not to run to her brothers' sides. She arrived just in time to hear Yakko say something about Sues and thesauruses.

"I got the punchline but missed the set up." She stated.

Yakko looked down at her in surprise. Though she was trying to keep her face completely neutral he seemed to sense her unease and glanced over to where she had been sitting. He could clearly see a guy looking her way.

"Dot was that guy bothering you?" He asked with a scowl.

She shook her head unconvincingly. "No Yakko, don't worry about it."

"Cause if he was bothering you-"

"Yakko."

"I can easily go over there-"

"No Yakko."

"And make sure he never so much as looks at you again."

Dot rolled her eyes. "I don't need you jumping in and taking over when I can handle stuff myself."

"Just say the word-"

"I'm not saying the word."

"He's not that big, I'm sure I could take him."

"Thanks, but _no_. He didn't _do_ anything. You just worry too much."

"Maybe I wouldn't _have_ to worry so much if you would just carry around the mace you _promised_ me you'd carry."

"When I promised to carry mace I thought you were talking about pepper spray. If I'd known you were talking about a four foot long fifty pound medieval mace I wouldn't have said yes."

Yakko frowned at her like she'd just said something completely absurd. "Why would I buy you pepper spray? Do you know how many people are immune to it? But I'll tell you what _nobody's_ immune to. A medieval mace. No one attacks a girl carrying a medieval mace."

"It weighs more than I do!"

"Well _forgive me_ for wanting to be pro-active about your personal safety!"

"I can be pro-active about my own personal safety!"

"You're three and a half feet tall! What are you going to do? Kick him in the shins and run like hell?"

"If I have to! Besides, it's not like I couldn't call you if I needed you, you're always _somewhere_ nearby."

"And what if I'm not?"

"When the hell does that ever happen?"

"Often enough!"

"Your brother is right!" Milk cut in as her eyes filled with crystal tears. "I would have _loved_ to have a big brother who cherished me as much as yours clearly cherishes you!"

"_Thank you_ Milk. At least _someone_ apprecia-"

"Just couldn't take not having the spotlight on you for that long could you?" Dot interrupted.

Annoyed, Milk put her hands on her hips. Standing as she was under the glow of the overhead florescent lights made the pale lavender of her light summer dress shimmer. The 42 ruffles in the bottom of the knee-length dress fluttered lightly in the breeze created by the air conditioning vents. The peasant style top was made of scrunchy fabric that accentuated her bust without making her look slutty. Her shoes, high heeled sandal slingbacks perfectly matched her small but stylish handbag. The fine silk of her hair was pulled back into a messy bun. This completely contrasted K.A.S.E.Y. who was wearing a very low cut backless (and braless) sultry purple top with a playboy bunny clasp over a micromini skirt that was pleated like a catholic schoolgirl's. High heeled knee-high leather boots completes the outfit while her hair was styled in chunky layers.

"Heeeeeyyyy." Dot whined. "How come no one ever writes long flowy paragraphs about what _I'm_ wearing? I've got _great_ fashion sense!"

Yakko rolled his eyes. "For anyone who cares, Dot is wearing a little pink shirt that says 'I'll do anything for money' in purple glitter writing. Which, now that I think about it is a very inappropriate slogan for a small girl's t-shirt and had I been there when she bought it I would have raised an objection-"

"That I would have ignored!"

"With jean shorts that have little pink hearts on the pockets."

"And…?" Dot prompted.

"And what?"

"..Aaaaaannnnndd…?" She continued as she hel dup a little purse.

"And a …Prada? …handbag?"

"Dolce and Gabbana, Yakko. _Dolce and Gabbana_. It totally makes the whole outfit!"

"What the heck do I know about purses? I'm a _guy_! And you've got a _billion_ of them!"

Wakko waved his hand in the air like a kid in class wanting to be picked to answer the question. "Me next! Do me!"

Yakko sighed. "Brown cargo shorts, a blue hoodie and your hat."

Twist looked up at him expectantly.

"Same thing, but green hoodie and purple hat."

"And you?" Dot prompted.

"I dunno. Whatever was at the top of my suitcase."

"Jeans. That fit! And a gray t-shirt with a naughty slogan that no one can read 'cause the shirt's on inside out and backwards."

"What?" Yakko looked down at himself. "Damn. Oh well. Not fixing it."

"Somehow that wasn't as much fun as I thought it would be." Dot said dissapointedly.

"Cause of Yakko's lousy commentating." Wakko said. "He didn't make it flowy enough."

"Tough luck. Beggars can't be choosers. And I can't commentate effectively without my Starbucks."

"Spoken like a true Los Angelican." K.A.S.E.Y. said with a giggle.

Dot tugged gently on Yakko's arm to get hi s attention. "Hey, how long until our flight boards?"

"Roughly fifteen minutes."

"Good. I have to go to the little girl's room. I'll be right back." She turned and began to walk away.

"Whoa, hold it just a minute!" Yakko exclaimed as he grabbed the back of Dot's innappropirate shirt and pulled her back. "You are not wandering around an airport by yourself."

"You can't come with me to the ladies room Yakko and I am not holding it all the way to Orlando, and if you try and make me I'll make sure I'm sitting on your lap when I get to where I can't hold it any longer."

"Ew!"

"Believe me this is _not_ a bluff you want to call."

"But you can't go wandering around by yourself in a DWC fic. Care to remind me of what happened the _last_ time you went off by yourself in a DWC fic?"

Dot gulped. "…Good point… But I really gotta go!"

Yakko turned to the Sues. "Could one of you take her?"

The Sues glanced at each other. Each was unwilling to leave the other alone with they're beloved.

"Ya know," Yakko said. "Protecting my little baby sister from snatchers is a very effective way to earn some _major_ brownie points. I mean, you would only be taking care of one of the most _precious_ people in my entire life…"

"You really mean that??" Dot asked in an awed and hushed voice with huge shiny eyes.

"Sure, why not?" He answered dismissively. Offended, she socked him in the arm. "What?? I said yes!"

Wakko opened his arms to her. "Come here sis, at least _I_ still love you."

As his sulking sister flung herself into his arms he mouthed silently to Yakko: "Still the favorite!"

Yakko scowled.

Milk considered her options. On one hand K.A.S.E.Y. would love to get Yakko alone so she could attempt to steal him away. But on the other hand with the whole 'cousin' thing working against her she could really use those brownie points. Besides, it was clear that Yakko only had eyes for her and would not likely be swayed by the other woman's advancements. And if Dot was to be her little sister-in law anyway, now would be a good time to step up into the role of big sister she would eventually have anyway.

"I will take her." She said at last.

Yakko nodded. "Thanks Milk. Don't let her out of your sight. DWC… has a bit of a history…"

As Milk and his sister headed off Yakko glanced back at the man Dot had been talking to. He was glad he had followed his instincts to not let her leave alone when he saw how the guys eyes never left her until she had dissapered into the crowd. He made no move to follow so Yakko was likely just being paranoid, but he was glad he'd followed his instincts all the same.

"So," K.A.S.E.Y. said as she took a step closer. "Now that we're alone…"

Yakko reached out and yanked Wakko and Twist in front of him.

(XxX)

Milk preened herself in the mirror while Dot used the facilities.

"Your brother seems a little stressed." Milk commented while Dot was washing her hands. "And he seems unsure of our commitment to each other. If only I could get him alone I could just service him sexually and calm his nerves."

"Gack!!" Dot gagged, swallowing her tongue as mental images she Did. Not. Want. flooded her brain.

"I mean, obviously I am a virgin, pure as the undriven snow, but if given the chance I am sure I could deep throat with the best of them. And if it would help me secure his love, all the better."

"…Gaaaaaasp…!" Still choking on her own tongue Dot collapsed onto the tile floor, her life flashing before her eyes.

"My goodness!" Milk exclaimed as she bent down and thumped Dot on the back as hard as she could, right between the shoulder blades, dislodging her tongue. The young girl's lungs filled with air but she remained where she was, crumpled on the ground gasping like a fish out of water.

"Hating this!!!"

(XxX)

"My _God_!" Yakko exclaimed as he got his first glimpse of his sister as she and Milk returned. She was pale and trembling like a leaf. "What happened?" He demanded descending on his sister in concern.

"Did you know that it _is _actually possible to swallow your own tongue?" Dot asked shakily. "I really wouldn't recommend it though."

"Poor thing nearly choked herself to death!" Milk explained.

Dot pointed an accusing finger right at Milk. "Her fault!"

Yakko gave Milk a suspicious look but he addressed his question to Dot. "What'd she do?"

"Don't wanna talk about it."

Milk shook her head, flustered. "I was merely saying-"

"No!" Dot cried covering her ears.

"There is nothing _wrong_ wi-"

"No!"

"It is a beautiful expression of lo-"

"No!"

"It is what people about to be married _do_!"

"NO!"

"…Riiiigggghhhhtttt..." Yakko said slowly as he looked back and forth between the two. From there conversation he could kinda get a jist of what had happened.

"Did I earn many brownie points?" Milk asked hopefully.

"Well, …you earned a few for taking her, but then lost them all for traumatizing her. I think she's lost more innocence in the past twelve hours than she has her entire lifetime up till now. And with the double entendre king as her oldest brother, that's really saying something!"

Milk deflated while K.A.S.E.Y. smirked.

"I'll never be the same!" Dot whimpered as she buried her face in Wakko's hoodie. He patted her head comfortingly. "Why does DWC hate me, what have I ever done to her?" She began to sniffle in earnest and Yakko reached down and scooped her up.

"We'll just have to make sure we give her a real piece of our minds when we meet her then, huh?"

"I'm going to tell her in detail about my desire to do illicit sexual things to _her_ brother and see how _she_ likes it!"

(XxX)

Not really wanting to describe another 'boarding theplane' segment the writer decided to take the easy way out and just skip ahead. Now in the plain seated in the center row of seats from right to left was Milk, K.A.S.E.Y., Twist, Wakko (because Twist had a tendency to writhe on the floor in agony if forced to be further than three feet from her better half), Yakko, and finally Dot. And just her luck, right next to her on the other side of the aisle was WakkoBob.

Milk and K.A.S.E.Y. were not happy about sitting besides each other and so far away from Yakko. Yakko was thrilled but was unable to really enjoy it because now he was too distracted by Twist;s attempts to engage Wakko in conversation and the unease that was radiating off of his sister in waves as she answered, in as few words as possible, WakkoBob's questions about filming Animaniacs. He hadn't said or done anything improper so Dot had allowed the conversation to continue, but being very aware of who was most likely writing this fic had her nerves on edge.

"So how much was scripted and how much was just made up on the spot?"

"We always had scripts but they let us improvise a lot. Some of the stuff we'd make up we'd make up ahead of time so all three of us would know who was going to do what when."

"And you really know Steven Spielberg?"

"He gave us the job."

"Is he nice?"

"He bought me a pony."

"You have a pony?"

"Not anymore. She got eaten by a bear. Poor Clover… never stood a chance. That's one petting zoo I'll never go back to."

Deciding that conversational dialogue wasn't all the interesting as well as wanting to get a little further into the story before her ten minute break was up and she'd have to get back to work the auther decided, once again, to skip ahead. The flight was uneventful and nothing important happened anyway so your not missing anything. Other than the mundane small talk the characters had amongst themselves. Small talk that wasn't even funny since the writer was running on about as much sleep as the Warners were. And who the hell could be funny on less than 4 hours of sleep? Not the Warner's and not the writer either.

(XxX)

The sibs quickly made thy're way to the cab station. They'd promised Milk and K.A.S.E.Y. that they would wait for them their while the girls picked up there luggage but of course the Warner's intended to do no such thing. This was a perfect opportunity to ditch the Sues once and for all and it was not an opportunity the Warner's planned on wasting. The trick would be getting a cab before the Sues managed to catch up. Luckily they're timing was perfect. They reached the station just as one was pulling in. Unfortunately their was already a couple in line waiting ahead of tehm. This was easily taken care of. Wakko and Twist pulled twin gookies and thinking they were about to be barfed on the couple quickly retreated willing to wait for the next cab. Not only did this mean the Warner's go tthis particular cab, it also meant that when the Sues showed up they would still have to wait in line for a cab of they're own. Thanking the writer for actually being on there side for a change the warner's leapt in the cab and were off.

"Wait, Yakko…" Dot said as the cab pulled onto the highway.

"Yeah, Dot?"

"How are we going to find this girl? We don't have an address or any idea what she looks like."

"Relax sis, it's all taken care of. We're just going to use a gratuitous plot hole."

Wakko smiled happily. "Ahh the gratuitous plot hole. The only amateur fic device we can actually use to our benefit."

"What are we going to do when we get there?" Dot wondered.

"Well first off, I think a firm scolding is in order. She should be very ashamed of herself for all this. Then she will set everything right and we'll tourist around a bit before we go home."

"What if she refuses to set everything right?"

"Wakko brought his mallet."

"The direct approach. I like it."

After a roughly fourty minute drive the Warners found themselves entering the grounds of a mid-sized apartemnet complex. It took driving around in a few circles before finding the right building.

"Looks… quaint." Dot said as she looked over the completely nondescript buildings that housed the individual apartments.

"They're all pretty much identical aren't they?" Yakko agreed.

"Each one more identical than the last!" Wakko exclaimed. His sibs stared at him with weird looks. "What? What'd I say?"

They walked up to the front door of the first floor apartment and knocked.

It was now time for the big moment. The door slowly opened, a face peaked out… then shrieked and slammed the door shut. Yakko knocked again. A little more forcefully this time.

"You wrote this! You knew we were coming! Now you've got some things to answer for so open up!"

After a moment the door once again opened allowing the Warners they're first good look at the infamous DancesWithCorpses.

She was short. Not much taller than Yakko with a slim but untoned build. Her skin was pale enough to indicate that were she to be exposed to direct sunlight she just might erupt into flames. The zombie look was completed by the dark circles under her eyes. Her longish hair was dyed black and green, the dye job made all the more obvious by the roughly two inches of dark brown roots.

"Uh, come in I guess." She said looking very embarrassed by the whole situation.

When the Warners stepped inside the small (very small) studio apartment the first thing they noticed were two gorgeous cats sitting in the middle of the livin groom. One was brownish grey with black stripes and green eyes. The other was white with cream stripes and blue eyes. On seeing the Warners the brown one walked right over, jumped up on a barstool and began to sniff every inch of Wakko's hat. The white one went into a frenzied panic and did a midair flip before bolting under the bed.

Dot looked concerned. "We scared your kitty."

"That's Diego. Don't mind him, he's a paranoid schizophrenic."

"He- …Really?"

"Well, it's not like I've had him diagnosed or anything. But it would explain _so_ much. The talking to himself, the reacting in terror to things only he can see, or he could just be an idiot. It's hard to say."

"What about this one?" Wakko asked nervously. The brown cat was standing with its back paws on the bar stool its front paws on Wakko's shoulder and was still enthusiastically sniffing Wakko's hat. "Is it going to eat me?"

"No. That's Anica. She's being sociable."

While this cat related conversation was taking place Yakko continued to look around, taking the apartment in. This was very easily accomplished. The apartment was small enough, and open enough, that he could stand in place, spin around in a circle and see _everything_ but the bathroom. He glanced at the computer. It had a dual moniter setup with Microsoft Word opened in one monitor and a desktop background with a picture of the Warner trio on the other. Taking a closer look at the word document he quickly recognized it as being this very story. He turned to DWC who was still looking embarrassed and uncomfortable.

"So." Yakko began. DWC hid her hands behind her back looking very much like a guilty puppy.

"You're DWC?"

She nodded.

"And it's been you writing this story?"

Another nod.

"It's been you the whole time?"

A third nod.

"Care to explain the sudden change in style?"

"It's a parody. I'm trying to fit in all the fic clichés that I can."

Yakko looked alarmed. "_All_ of them?"

"Well, not _all_ all. I left out the whole 'Sue turns a bad guy good' thing, 'cause I don't actually _have_ a bad guy to turn good. Than there's that thing where the canon lead, which in this case would have been you, spends all his time thinking about his attraction, or denial of attraction, for the Sue and about her quirks and her past. And I'm not doing songfics, because technically ff. net doesn't allow them for copyright reasons. Usually no one bothers to report them but after this I'm probably going to have a lot of new enemies."

"That's an understatement. After this you're going to have most of the A! writing community out for your blood."

She shrugged. "I also considered releasing this thing one paragraph at a time but figured I wouldn't be able to come up with that many chapter names. And I almost considered leaving out all the paragraphs and having each chapter be one long block of text, but I just couldn't do it. I'm having a hard enough time as it is just ignoring my spell check. I'm not even using a beta for christ's sake! I _never_ post _anything_ without running it through a beta! A lot of the misspellings are actual misspellings! People are seeing how I actually type!"

"And _why_ exactly are you doing this?"

"To… uh… encourage improvement?"

"Do you mean that or are you just saying that so the other fic writers don't come down here and bludgeon you with objects from your own apartment?"

"…Mostly the second one. I have a lot of pointy things."

"I notice that my one liners aren't as cutting as they're supposed to be. What gives?"

"You're cleverer than I am. Which makes writing dialogue for you incredibly hard."

Yakko looked a little flattered. "That answer pleases me."

"Hey, what's this?" Dot asked as she peered into a jar sitting on the dresser.

"That's Anelie the mummified cat head. She used to be alive 'till some dogs ate her torso."

Dot rocketed away from the jar as if it had been electrified. She rocketed back the other way just as quickly.

"_Roach_!"

"Yeah, you get used to that."

The Warners stared at her with a horrified expression as Dot leaped into Yakko's arms.

"Don't look at me that way, the entire complex has them. Welcome to apartment life. Blattella Germanica. The German Roach… (Thank you Germany). Has a roughly six month lifespan, can commonly be found in kitchens or bathrooms, usually prefer to nest within five feet or so from their water source. The most common roach species to infest apartments."

"You seem… well educated on the subject."

"I googled them."

Yakko grinned at the readers and waved. "Goodnight everybody!"

"That's such an old joke I can't believe you went there."

"Not my fault. You're the writer."

"Touché. Moving on. First the roaches were after the cats' food and water. Once I got them out of there they moved to the trash, then I got them out of there and they moved to the bathroom. I'm hoping my colony of bathroom spiders will take care of it. So far so good."

Dot climbed even higher up Yakko's body. "Colony of bathroom _what_?"

"Yeah. It's spider season."

"Spider _season_?!"

"Yeah. Every summer the spider population explodes. I think they come in 'cause they like the air conditioning. I named the biggest one Spithe."

By this point Dot was practically balanced on her brother's head. "Yakko, I want to go _home_!"

He pried her off and tried to set her down. But she was having none of it. Who knew what was crawling around in the carpet under her feet?

"So let me get this straight." He began. "You spend all your time in a roach and spider infested apartment, by yourself, except for your two-and-a-quarter cats, with a computer as your only outlet to the outside world?"

"Pretty much."

"You realize you live like a serial killer?"

"Pretty much."

"At least you're honest about it. Usually in an author insertion fic the author presents themselves as being better than they really are and then they end up being our best friends and or love interests."

"Well this is a parody. So I'm doing the exact opposite and presenting myself as I really am. Bug infestation and all."

"What about special abilities than? Author inserters always give themselves talents. This would generally be the part where you spin-change into a Warner."

DWC gave a derisive snort. "No. This is actually the part where I get into my ghetto-ass held together by electrical tape car, pray it starts, drive to my menial minimum wage paying job and spend the next seven hours wishing that a large section of humanity would just drop dead."

Yakko's eyebrows raised in mild surprise. "…Lovely. Say, while you're at it if you could spare a little time to figure out this little situation we have here that would be great. Preferably something quick that will have us home by the end of the week? Kitchensink needs us to work on an update so we kinda need to be there."

"Oh yay! I love that story!"

"Great, now you're all good and motivated to move this along quickly. Everybody wins!"

DWC grabbed he rkeys from the dresser and led everyone back outside after calling a quick goodbye to the cats. Suddenly Dot realized that someone was missing.

"Hey wait, where's Twist?"

"Rite heer." Twist spoke up from behind her.

"Where were you?"

"I wuz w/ u teh hole tym."

"No you weren't!"

"Yes I wuz. I pet teh kitteh. :D"

Dot sighed. "Oh I get it, it's a running gag now. Clever."

"I'll see what I can do." DWC promised as she began to walk to her car. "I know this whole thing has been a big mess. I'm not in my element right now. I usually go out of my way to _avoid_ Mary Sue fics and now I'm actually freaking _writing_ one. So I'm writing in free passes to Disney World for you. I know it doesn't make up for anything but it'll at least give you something to do while I'm at work."

Wakko frowned. "We're Warner Brother's property. Are we even _allowed_ on Disney grounds?"

"You are if I say you are. It's my fic."

"Good point."

As DWC unlocked her car a cab pulled up.

Wakko's eyes went wide. "Oh no…"

"It can't be!" Dot exclaimed.

The cab door opened and sure enough out came Milk, K.A.S.E.Y., and WakkoBob.

"They must have used the same plot hole to find this place that we did!" Yakko cried.

DWC watched in surprise as Milk and K.A.S.E.Y. approached Yakko.

"Sweetie what happened? You said you were going to wait for us." Milk simpered.

"I lied." He said flatly. His response might have been a little more tactful had he not been distracted by WakkoBob who had knelt down in front of his sister so that they were eye to eye. He gently took her hand.

"It surprised me." He said softly, "How much I missed you when you left. I'm feeling things I've never felt before. I can't explain it and I don't know why, but I find myself suddenly in love with you."

Horrified, Dot screamed.

Yakko whirled on DWC eyes blazing. "Have you lost your _mind_?!? He's over twice her age!" With a furious growl he leapt at the writer who shrieked and flung herself into her car, locking the doors. Yakko was left unab;e to do anything more than pound on her windows as she scrambled to start the car.

"A ten year old girl!! What the hell are you _thinking_? How the _fuck_ is she supposed to defend herself against someone four times her size!?!"

On the third attempt the car started and DWC sped off, Yakko still shouting after her.

"Yeah you'd better run you sick bitch! …I know where you live!" He pointed towards he r apartment. "Right there!"

He whirled back around all his protective brotherly fury now focused on WakkoBob who was still grasping Dot's hand in his.

"Back the hell off!" He demanded wrenching his sister away. He passed her off to Wakko then returned getting right up in WakkoBob's face (which involved standing on tiptoe).

"You touch her, I kill you. You _think_ about touching her, I kill you. You touch her _while_ thinking about touching her I kill you _twice_ you get me?" He hissed through clenched teeth.

Dot covered her face and cowered in Wakko's arms. "I knew I was gonna get the worse one, I knew it, I _knew_ it!"

"If it's meant to be there's nothing you can do to get between us!" WakkoBob exclaimed.

"Except gnaw through your jugular vein. And believe me, I've seen enough Scrubs reruns to know exactly where it is and how deep I gotta go, so don't tempt me!"

"Don't worry lovey," WakkoBob called to Dot who responded by burying her face into Wakko's shoulder. "We'll just find a way _around_ your brother if we have to!"

"_He's_ not the only one you have to worry about." Wakko said stiffly. "She's _my_ baby sister too and I'll fight you just as hard."

"You have no right to make this decision for her! It's her life!"

"I think it's very clear what her decision is." Yakko snapped as he gestured towards Dot who was now hiding behind Wakko and peaking fearfully over his shoulder.

"She's only upset because you're causing a scene!"

"She's upset because she has some pervo stalking her!"

"Yakko can we just go now?" Dot asked from behind Wakko's shoulder. "Let's just go now."

Yakko nodded stiffly. Conveniently the cab was still waiting their and luckily it was a standard sized cab that could only hold four passangers.

As he led his siblings to the car Yakko made it a point to aggressively shoulder bump WakkoBob as he passed. But since the human was taller and heaver all Yakko managed to do was knock himself to the ground. He was up again in a flash and stomped the rest of the way to the cab.

"Hey baby?" K.A.S.E.Y. called. "Where are you going? Do you want me to meet you somewhere?"

"_No._ I don't care what you three do in the meantime but you're sure as hell not coming with us!"

Ignoring the Sues' hurt expression he ducked into the cab and slammed the door.

"I am _officially_ sick of this story!"

**Author's Note**: While I fully admit that the _name_ WakkoBob is a blatant make-fun of WakkoRyan I just want to make it clear that the _character_ of WakkoBob has absolutely _nothing_ to do with WakkoRyan. I say that now so that he doesn't kill me later.


	4. The Best Disney Parade EVER!

**Author's Note**: Evidently it is badfic law that a Mary Sue/Author Insertion writer must at some point get into an argument with themselves in at least one author's note. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, I am not freakin insane enough to have an imaginary friend in which to get into a lame argument with in my author's notes. But still, badfic law is badfic law so I'm going to do the next best thing: pick a fight with one of my cats and transcribe it to the best of my ability:

DWC: "Anica, come here."

Anica: -comes over- (yes she does actually come when called, doesn't my cat totally rock?)

DWC: -pokes Anica repeatedly in shoulder- "I'm annoying you!!"

Anica: -unimpressed stare-

DWC: -keeps poking-

Anica: -annoyed stare-

DWC: -continuing to poke-

Anica: "Pprft!" -walks away-

DWC: "Fine! I never liked you anyway and you have stupid hair!"

Anica: -ignore-

-Diego comes running-

DWC: "I wasn't talking to you!"

Diego: "Purrrrrrr"

DWC: "Your hair's stupid too."

Diego: "Purrrrrrr"

DWC: "Idiot."

Diego: "Purrrrrrr"

Hopefully that was enough to fulfill my badfic obligations. I don't wanna hafta do that again.

Story time now:

Chapter Four: The Best Disney Parade Ever

"You know, after doing eighty in a cab on I-4 I don't think any Disney ride could ever compare." Yakko commented shakily as they made they're way to the Disney entrance gates.

"We nerly dyed liek 12 timez :-o !" Twist agreed.

Wakko gave her a confused glance. "Really? I only counted eleven."

"I counted teh uhaul 2ce cuz thtz how many tymz it nrly ran us off teh road."

Dot was still trembling. "Has _anyone_ in Orlando ever heard of a turn signal?"

"Evidently not." Yakko stated grimly.

Since it was mid afternoon on a Wednesday the wait to get through bag check and into the park was a relatively short one.

"So. What do you three want to do first?" Yakko asked.

"Shopping!"

"Ridez!"

"Make gookie faces at the cast of High School Musical!"

"Eeeeehhhhh… how about we just wander around and do whatever looks entertaining at the time?"

The sibs agreed and set off down Main Street. Dot dragged them into a few stores along the way. The Cast of High School Musical was no where to be found so Wakko had to make do with freakin gout the girl from Hannah Montana though it wasn't nearly as satisfying.

Wakko and Dot appeared to be enjoying themselves. But after a while Yakko noticed that Twist had been pretty quiet and only seemed partially enterested in her surroundings. Whiel wakko and Dot scrutinized the Disney pins at a little kiosk Yakko joined Twist who was sitting rather listlessly on a nearby bench.

"What's with you?" He asked. "You've been quiet."

She was silent for a moment before finally looking up at him.

"Ur rly close w/ Wakko & Dot, rite?"

Yakko nodded slowly. "Yeah…"

"U luv them?"

"More than anything."

"How wud u feel f 1 day u woke up & thy didnt no hu u wre?"

Yakko jerked back slightly the question catching him completely off guard.

"& wot f thy decided 2 go tlk 2 teh riter 2 make evrythng normal 'gen, whch iz rly jst a nice way ov sayin thy wnt teh riter 2 make u go away? Wot wud u rly hav 2 say at tht point?"

"Uh…" Yakko stared at her like a deer caught in headlights. He had no idea how to respond. Sues weren't usually known for showing depth of character or for saying anything that anyone could personally relate to, but what she'd said had definately hit home. He'd never even once considered any of this from her perspective. And he knew himself well enough to know that he would be completely devastated if his siblings were to ever turn away from him. Suddenly he felt pretty damn bad for ignoring her the past 2 days. He still wanted the situation taken care of but that didn't mean he had to make her feel bad in the meantime.

Before he could form a response Dot and Wakko came running back.

"Look!" Dot cried. "I got a stitch pin! Isn't he cute?"

"And I got Belle! Hellooooo busty nurse! Hey! Let's go ride Pirates now!"

Dot's eyes lit up. "Oh yes, let's!"

Yakko turned to Twist contiously trying to make sure she felt included. "That sound good to you, Twist?"

With a small smile the girl nodded.

On the way to Pirates the Warner's were surprised by how many autograph requests they received. A few by young children who mistook them for Mickey Mouse but most from older teenagers and young adults who had grown up watching Animaniacs. Walking through Frontier land alone Yakko was asked to sing 'Yakko's World' six times.

Twist received twice the autograph requests that Dot did. The attention seemed to lift Twist's spirits but caused Dot's eye twitch to some back with a vengeance.

They eventually made it to Pirates, rode it, then engaged in a ten minute conversation on how the addition of the new jack Sparrow animatronic figures made the rest of the animatronic pirates look like crap.

"If they're gonna add in something that lifelike they need to update the rest of them so they're lifelike too. It's not like they don't have the money to do it." Dot was saying as they entered Fantasy Land. "They're just being _lazy_."

"Hi there!" A voice called as a figure popped out from behind a hat vender. It was WakkoBob and he was sporting a pair of mouse ears. Dot leapt about three feet straight up spun around and practically ran through the air to fling herself into Yakko's arms.

Milk and K.A.S.E.Y. walked around from behind the vender to join WakkoBob. They too had on mouse ears.

"What the hell are you three doing here?" Yakko demanded.

"Silly we were looking for you." Milk answered as if it were the most obvious answer.

"But we didn't tell you where we were going to be!"

"I used my pendent." Milk explained. "It picked up on your love trail and led us right here!"

"My _what_??" Yakko screeched looking nausous. He pinched the bridge of his nose as his headache came back. "Oh, what I'd give for an anvil right now…"

Wakko looked up at him. "Did you just say anvil or Advil? FCC took all my anvils but I think I have some Advil."

"What about your mallet? Do you have your mallet?"

"Yeah, but that would get us kicked out of the park."

"Seems like a small price to pay."

"Oh Honey," Milk said with a sigh as she lightly grabbed Yakko's arm, much to his displeasure. "You are just cranky because you have not eaten since breakfast. I say we find a restaurant, sit down, and finally explain to these strangers that they are not welcome."

"I like the sound of that." Wakko stated. "My blood sugar's getting low."

The middle Warner's hypoglycemia often caused him to start eating anything in sight whenever his blood sugar began to take a dip. And since the Warner's didn't have the kind of money it would take to satisfy Disney should Wakko start eating part of the park Yakko decided that sitting down to eat somewhere was probably there best option.

Unfortunately all of the fairly cheap eateries had picnic table style seating which pretty much made it impossible for them to prevent there special friends from sitting with them. Naturally all of the oc's wanted to sit next to they're associated canon, but the original trio saw to it that they sat together with Dot safely protected in the middle. Twist sat on the other side of Wakko and the rest of the oc's had to deal with sitting on the other side of the table. The Sues had no interest in sitting next to each other so WakkoBob sat between them. This put him directly across from Dot. Uncomfortable under his gaze she hunched low in her seat.

"What's wrong Dottie?" He asked. "Are you cold?"

She glared at him. "That's _Miss Warner_ to _you_."

"You still don't like to be called Dottie?"

"No WakkoBob, I don't."

"Huh, what?" Wakko asked looking up from his chicken strips. "You called me?"

"What? No, I was talking to WakkoBob."

Wakko frowned. "WhoBob?"

"WakkoBob."

"You're kidding."

"Unfortunately not."

Wakko whirled on WakkoBob brandishing a chicken strip like it was a weapon. "I demand you return my name at once! It was mine first, I had it before it was cool!"

WakkoBob shrugged. "No can do. It's on my driver's license."

"Couldn't you come up with something a little more _original_?"

"I considered YakkoJoe but it just didn't have the same ring to it."

"You can't hit on my sister and have the same name as me! It's creepy!"

"He's in his late twenties, it's creepy no matter what his name is." Yakko pointed out.

"WakkoBob is my name. It's a part of who I am." He said defiantly.

"It's also a name I never want to be screaming out in bed so I guess you're out of luck." Dot stated firmly.

Yakko dropped his burger onto the paper plate. "Christ, Dot did ya have to go there? I'm eating for crying out loud!"

Dot smirked evilly. "Crying out loud is exactly what I won't be doing."

"Okay, you know what? From now on I'm the only one who supplies the innuendo in this family."

Milk and K.A.S.E.Y. swooned.

"Oh Yakko!" Milk sighed. "You are so kawaii!"

Dot frowned. "Kauai? Isn't that an island in Hawaii?"

"Kawaii is Japanese for cute." Yakko explained.

"Oh. Why is she speaking Japanese? She's American."

"It's trendy."

"It's stupid."

"I agree." Yakko went back to his burger.

Milk sweatdropped.

"Holy hell!" Wakko exclaimed. "Why'd her head just spring a leak?"

"Wakko be nice!" Dot chastised him. "She obviously has a glandular problem!" She turned to look at Milk. "It's okay, it happens to the best of us."

"What? No! I do not have a glandular problem!" Milk insisted looking horrified.

"Then why did-"

"It's another of those random anime references." Yakko explained patiently.

"But she's not anime style!"

"That's never deterred a fic writer before."

"Ah."

Noticing that Milk hadn't gotten lunch for herself Dot couldn't help but ask why.

"Oh, I do not eat. It is how I maintain this figure."

"Oh." Dot said, "You know, I was anorexic once. For about eight hours. Then I got hungry. I'm not so good at the whole self denial thing."

"Thank god." Yakko murmured under his breath.

"Oh that is easy. Eat all you want. And then when you are done just take these two fingers and shove them down your thro-"

"Don't give her tips!" Yakko screeched as he clamped his hands over Dot's innocent ears.

"Hey! Hands off the merchandise!!" Dot howled outraged.

Stunned Yakko jerked away. She had _never_ reacted so vehemently against having him touch her before.

"I didn't mean you." Dot explained when she noticed his hurt expression. "WakkoBob put his hand on my knee under the table."

Yakko glared hard at WakkoBob. "Would you mind not perving on our sister in front of us?"

"Yeah!" Wakko chimed in. "If you want to perve on _our_ sister you have to take her somewhere _private_!"

Dot gasped horrified and Yakko's jaw dropped.

"Wakko Warner! Selling your little sister out to the pedophile! Tsk Tsk!"

Wakko's eyes went wide. "Wha-No! I didn't mean it like that!"

"I think this is grounds for me to take my plaque back." He gleefully reached around Dot and retrieved his plaque from his brother's pocket.

Dot was still staring at the flustered middle sibling wearing an expression like he had just struck her. Wakko, meanwhile was backpedaling for all he was worth.

"I really didn- I wasn't giving him _permission_- I would _never_!! It came out wrong!"

"Come here sis," Yakko said, enjoying the whole situation a little too much. "_I_ would never offer you up to a pedophile would I?"

Dot shook her head and inched closer to her oldest brother, all the while giving Wakko the same wounded look.

Wakko was still desperately trying to explain. "I wasn't saying that he _could_, he would still hafta go through Yakko and me to do it-"

"There there, sis. _I'll_ keep you safe."

Frusterated Wakko glared at his brother. "I hate you!"

"You're just jealous 'cause I've got the plaque."

"And you're making my little sister think I'm planning on looking the other way while some pervo puts his hands all on her!"

Yakko grinned. "_I'm_ not the one who made her think that."

"But you're definitely not helping!"

"I'm _not_ a pedophile." WakkoBob interupted, offended. "What part of being in love with a 10 year old girl makes me a pedophile?"

"The being in love with a ten year old girl part." Yakko explained patiently.

WakkoBob scowled.

"And I for one am not going to allow you to perve all over my little sister."

"Me neither." Wakko said peevishly.

Milk was getting impatient. "Yakko, I think it is time we all had that conversation I mentioned earlier."

"What conversation? The one where I announce my strong dislike of everyone in this story who's not directly related to me?"

"Kind of. I meant the conversation that hopefully ends with us getting rid of a couple of the people at this table."

Yakko raised an eyebrow. "You kidding me? We've been trying to ditch you three since this story began. It hasn't worked yet and I'm getting the sinking suspicion that we'll have to deal with all of you until DWC decides what she wants to do."

(XxX)

Hanging around the park became decidedly less fun once the Sues had joined in. Milk tried to pull Yakko into a store selling Disney style wedding dresses, K.A.S.E.Y. tried to shove Milk out of the boat halfway through Splash Mountain, Twist insisted on going through Smallworld, _twice, _and Dot had to fend off a pair of roving hands when the lights went out during the Stitch's Escape ride.

When they exited that particular ride Dot had wrapped herself completely around Yakko's leg, her eyes big and shiny.

"Yakkooooooo, he's _perving_ on me again! Make him stooooooop!!!!"

Growling ferociously Yakko whirled around. It wasn't quite as threatening as he'd intended it to be, Dot's weight on his leg making his movements a little awkward. "WakkoBob, have you ever had a colonoscopy?"

"What? No."

"Well you're seconds away from getting one, with my fist in place of a camera!"

Milk swooned. K.A.S.E.Y. actuallyhad to fan herself.

Wakko pulled a large rock out of his pocket. "I can't use my mallet on Disney property, but do you think they would mind if I just knocked him around a little with the pointy rock of righteous indignation?"

Dot raised an eyebrow at him as she peeked around Yakko's leg. "Do you carry that thing around with you everywhere you go?"

"What kind of brother would I be if I didn't?"

"A… normal one?"

"I was merely attempting to hold your hand." WakkoBob explained.

Dot scowled. "Uh huh, I'm _real_ sure. So tell me Perve-Bob-Grabby-Hands, if my arms were on the armrests how did your hand wind up in my _lap_?"

"It was dark!"

Hearing what WakkoBob's transgression actually was put an expression on Yakko's face that easily could have melted led. He didn't even have to say anything the look alone was enough to make WakkoBob take a few steps back. Yakko pried Dot off his leg, but didn't put her down figuring it would be easier to defend her honor if he kept a hold on her. Dot stuck her tongue out at WakkoBob, then recoiled horrified when his response was to blow a kiss at her.

As they left Tomorrow Land they encountered a small crowd lining up against makeshift rope barriers.

"What are they doing?" Dot wonderd.

"Lookz lke there seting up 4 teh parade." Twist answered.

The Warner's and company took a place of there own bext to the barrier. Yakko set Dot down but made sure to stand directly behind her limiting WakkoBob's access. Limiting but not denying. WakkoBob was able to stroke the end of her tail before she angrily snatched it away. Wakko quickly stepped forward to close the gap in her protective wall.

After a fairly lengthy wait some cheesy inspirational music began to play as the first float in the Disney Dreams Come True parade began to make its way down the marked off path. College kids in heavy looking character costumes began to dance around.

"Why don't they get the actual characters to do this?" Dot wondered.

"Would _you_ be caught dead doing something like this?" Yakko responded.

"Good point."

Beside them Milk and K.A.S.E.Y. were getting into a rapidly heated argument over who had the right to stand next to Yakko during the duration of the parade. For the most part they had kept one on either side of him but at the moment Wakko occupied one of the spots. Finally in exasperation Yakko turned to the Sues.

"This is getting ridiculous." He snapped. "It's time to settle this once and for all."

"What do you propose?" K.A.S.E.Y. asked.

"Fight to the death."

The Sues stared at him in surprise before glancing at each other.

Yakko had been kidding. Any idiot could tell that he was kidding. But the Sues wren't any idiots. They lunged at each other tumbling into the middle of the parade. Disney characters scattered as the Sues hit and kicked, yanked and bit.

"This is officially the best Disney parade _ever_." Wakko commented as Aladdin tackled Cinderella out of the way and Mickey's oversized costume head fell off causing children in the audience to burst into tears.

With a cry of rage K.A.S.E.Y. shoved Milk hard enough to knock her to the ground. The float bearing down on her didn't have time to stop. Parents, kids, and Disney employees alike began to scream as the float ran over Milk. By the time the large float came to a stop both tires had gone over Milk's midsection leaving a sickening dent in her body as she lay motionless behind the float.

"Holy shit she jst got pwned! O-o" Twist shrieked. The Warners just stared with dropped jaws as Milk began to moan. Dot, who had been watching the parade sitting cross legged at yakko's feet stood up. She grabbed Yakko's arm.

"You have to go over there."

Yakko looked down at her in surprise. "What? Why?"

"It's the big Mary Sue death scene. You're supposed to go over there and mourn."

"Why?"

"_Everyone_ mourns the loss of a Sue. It's the rules." She gestures around them. The entire parade audience was sobbing, not like they had just witnessed a horrible accident, but like they'd just lost an immediate member of the family. Tinkerbell and Stitch held each other up whiel Jafar pounded on the ground in despair. Even K.A.S.E.Y. was on her knees ripping at her hair as she screamed apologies to the sky.

"See?" Dot continued. "According to Sue rules you're supposed to go over there, confess your undying love and cry until she dies in your arms."

Yakko looked positively squicked out. "But I don't want to."

"You have to. It's the rules. She won't die till you do."

"You _want_ her to die? Isn't that kinda harsh?" Wakko asked with surprise.

"No it's not. You know how Sues are always basically the same person?"

Her brothers nodded.

"That's because they don't actually die. They just get reincarnated into another fic in another fandom written by a different author. Sue stories _always_ end one of two ways. They either hook up with their canon or they die. So this was always the inevitable outcome no matter what so we might as well just follow the rules about it and get it over with as soon as possible."

Yakko sighed. "Fine. I'll do it."

He ducked under the barrier and walked over to where Milk lay. He got down gingerly on his knees thankful there was no blood for him to have to kneel in. Gently he gatherd Milk into his arms and cleared his throat.

"Alas! Poor Milk! Our lives together had only just begun! Oh cruel fate to take such beauty and joy from the world! I mourn my loss as I will never love again!"

"What's he doing?" Wakko asked with a look of complete bewilderment.

"He's following the rules. The final speech is usually pretty ridiculous."

Milk's eyes fluttered and she looked up at her beloved, a soft smile on her face. She slowly reached up a battered hand and stroked the side of his face once before she weakly let her hand fall.

"Yakko, my love. I am afraid my time grows near…"

"Yeah getting run over by a parade float will do that to you …uh, my love."

"Oh how I have longed to hear you say those words!"

"Ours was an unspoken love."

"Please speak it! Before I am taken from this world allow mine ears to hear the tender words from your lips!"

Yakko glanced over at his sibs. Wakko gave him a big smile and a thumbs up. Dot was scowling though. She pointed at him and mimed crying.

Getting the point Yakko quickly tried to think of something, anything, that would quickly reduce him to tears. He decided to go with the old standby – thinking about losing his siblings. Over the years he had learned that he could control how quickly the tears came by altering the scenario he imagined losing his sibs in. If he needed the tears to build slowly he imagined them getting taken away and separated by social services. If he needed the tears to come hard and fast he imagined them succumbing to a horrible violent death. So he pictured them getting hit by a bus, limbs and blood all over the place. By the time he looked back down at Milk he was sobbing like a small child.

"That was quick. I'm impressed." Wakko stated.

Dot shook her head. "He used the bus scenario again. _So_ predictable!"

"Hey, whatever works."

"But he can't _handle_ the bus scenario, now he's going to be all weird and clingy for the rest of the day."

Milk's eyes teared as she watched her soul mate's anguish. "Do not cry for me, my love. I do not wish to cause you such sorrow. Though we part, you must know that I will never leave you. When you see the sunrise it will be my love rising for you. The stars will be my eyes looking down upon you. When you feel the wind it will be me caressing you. I do not wish for you to dwell on me. You must go on. You must do me the honor of living your life. What we had was special and should be celebrated, not mourned. But please, before I depart for the other side, do me the favor of speaking that which I so long to hear. May it be the last words I ever hear spoken to me in this life."

"I love you." He sobbed as he imagined his siblings' blood being hosed off the concrete, running down the storm drain and into the sewer like so much filth.

In accordance to Sue rules right after he spoke those words Milk's eyes rolled back into her head and she fell still. Yakko continued to cry, his tears soaking the top of her dress. He knew he could stop now but once he got himself going it was kinda hard to turn it off.

"If that didn't deserve an academy award I don't know what does." Wakko stated with pride, clapping his hands. "His best work so far, I'd say."

"Yeah it was all very impressive. Now let's go gather him up." Dot began to walk towards Yakko, Wakko and Twist following close behind. He saw them approaching and finally began to pull himself together. By the time they reached him he had largely gotten a hold of himself. But that didn't stop him from pulling both sibs into a crushing hug. After bearing witness to the aftereffects of the bus scenario before they knew the hug was coming and were able to get a deep breath in before he had a chance to crush them to death.

"You really gotta stop using the bus scenario." Dot said as she rubbed her sore ribs after he had let them go.

"But it works the best." He sniffled.

"You're gonna end up needing therapy."

"I'm already _in_ therapy."

"But now you're actually going to _need_ it."

"I've needed it ever since Quid got a hold of us."

They began to head back towards the barriers. K.A.S.E.Y. was still wailing while WakkoBob led her off the parade route. They'd almost made it when they heard a little moan. Everyone turned back around in shock. Milk moaned again. Her eyes fluttered open. An dto everyones astonishment, she sat up. The dent in her midsection was gone.

"What the hell?!" Yakko exclaimed. He turned to his sister for an explination. "Dot??"

"I don't know!! That's not in the rules! DWC's deviating!"

With a scream Wakko leapt into Dot's arms. "She's a _zombie_! She's going to eat our brains!"

Struggling to hold his weight Dot finally decided to just drop him. "I wouldn't worry about it in your case. She'd starve to death if she even tried."

"Yeah! That- heeeeeyyyyyyyy!!!"

Milk carefully stood up, swaying a bit as she did so. In surprise she looked down at herself, even going so far as to pat at her stomach where the tires had rolled over her. Looking around her eyes lit up as they came to rest on Yakko. They're eyes met.

"Oh crap." Yakko said as Milk ran over.

"Why is she running in slow motion?" Wakko asked.

"Dramatic reasons probably." Dot answered.

"I told her I loved her, I'm never going to get rid of her now!"

Dot put he r hands petulantly on her hips. "Personally I blame the bus scenario."

"Yakko! Oh Yakko my love! You have rescued me!" Milk exclaimed jubilantly.

"I what now?"

She clutched at her magic pendent which the Warner's noticed was glowing slightly.

"Your tears of love! They have brought me back to life!"

Dot slapped herself on the forhead, grabbed Yakko's arm and pulled him off to the side so she could scold him in pseudo privacy.

"Yakko Warner! Did you cry tears of love?"

"Not for her! I swear!"

Dot angrily stamped her foot. "I don't _believe_ you! I thought you were smarter than that! You can't cry tears of _love_ on an _enchanted_ person on _Disney_ property!! Hasn't Beauty and the Beast taught you _anything_??"

"It taught me how to change cool looking monsters into creepy unattractive looking men. But I don't see how that relates. I didn't cry tears of love for _her_ though!"

"It doesn't matter! Tears of love are tears of love! This is exactly why you shouldn't use the bus scenario! Nothing good ever comes of it!"

K.A.S.E.Y. was staring at Milk with equal parts astonishment, relief, and disappointment. Astonishment that this was even possible, relief that she wasn't a killer, and disappointment that she would have to continue to compete for Yakko's affections.

WakkoBob took the opportunity while everyone was distracted to discreetly ogle Dot's tiny pre-pubescent ass. No one noticed.


	5. Things Get Out of Hand

Chapter Five: Things Get Out of Hand

They didn't stay at the park for too much longer after getting Milk back. The younger sibs were starting to tire so a quick dinner was grabbed before catching a cab. Of course the first cab available had to be a van that could carry everyone. The Warner's decided to not even fight it. Their was no point, the Sues knew where they were going anyway and would enevitably follow, especially Milk who after hearing Yakko say 'I love you' was hovering around with renewed vigar.

After another harrowing cab ride down the I-4 highway the now very wide awake Warners once again found themselves outside DWC's apartment. Her car wasn't they're when they exited the cab, but with appropriate fanfiction timing it came pulling up soon after.

Remembering Yakko's earlier assault DWC was wary to exit her vehicle. To his amusement he noticed the pepper spray in her hands.

"How was your day?" He asked with mock cheeriness. "I bet it wasn't as interesting as _ours_ was."

"Your own fault." She said stiffly. "You're the one who decided to cry tears of love like a jackass. You could be down a Sue right now, but nooooo. You know how much harder that makes things for me? I have to come up with a whole new ending now!"

Dot gave Yakko a pointed look and elbowed him in the ribs. He rolled his eyes. "Alright, jeeze, I'm sorry!"

"As you should be." DWC grumbled.

Yakko glared in annoyance. "Hey, _I'm_ not the only one who has things to apologize for! The whole 'let's perve all over my little sister' thing got _real_ old _real_ fast!"

"Yeah!" Dot agreed, "Why do you hate me?"

"I don't." She said with a slightly embarrassed sigh. "You're actually my favorite."

"Than why do you always pick on me??" Dot demanded looking confused.

"As my favorite I tend to have all of the interesting stuff happen to you."

"You have a real messed up definition of the word 'interesting'!"

"Yeah… I guess. But it gets my stories decent reviews…"

Dot frowned. "Well can't you aim a little of that 'favoritism' in someone _else's_ direction for a while?"

"I did! But mister 'tears of love' over there had to go an-"

"Enough! I already apologized!" Yakko ranted.

"Well you can pretty much forget about there being any kind of resolution tonight. I don't even _start_ fics usually until I have at least _some_ idea of what the ending is gonna be. Usually if I get stuck on anything it's the little bits of filler in between the major plot points."

"Like this stuff right here which is why you're rambling?"

"Exactly."

Yakko raised an eyebrow. "So the writer currently has absolutely no idea what she's doing. That's _comforting_."

"You know what? I'm going to go inside right now and beta read the new chapter of The Middle Warner Sibling's fic. And when I'm done, _then_ I'll put a little more work into this thing. In the meantime you're on your own."

"That's not fair!"

"Yeah!" Wakko whined. "I'm the _real_ middle Warner sibling! I should come before the fake one!"

DWC considered for a moment. "How about this. I'll get you a hotel room in one of the nice Disney resorts. You'll even get your own room, I'll put Twist with the OCs."

Twist gasped.

"Leav mi famly?? Spnd teh nyte away frm mi _twin_?? O-o"

"I'll even make Twist okay with it so she doesn't pitch a fit."

"c u n teh morn :D !" Twist sang cheerfully as she waved goodbye to Wakko.

Yakko didn't look too mollified. "But that still means we have to go back on I-4! That road's gonna kill us!"

"Going inside now…"

"Hold on! We are not done talking to you yet!"

With a snap of her fingers Milk and K.A.S.E.Y. lunged at each other. But instead of fighting they began to make out.

"Look!" DWC exclaimed. "Slash!"

As everyone turned to watch the Sue's DWC made a break for her apartment.

"Wow." Yakko said absolutely transfixed.

"This would be so much hotter if they were in bikinis in a big vat'o jello." Wakko commented

Dot had her head tilted to one side. "I'm just not seeing the appeal here."

As the door behind DWC closed the spell was broken. Milk and K.A.S.E.Y. jerked away from each other in disgust.

Yakko glanced around and realized DWC was gone. "Heeeyyyyyy, we've just been played for chumps!"

"And she's officially violated all of her personal standards." Dot pointed out.

"Huh?"

"Remember you said in her profile she wrote that she hated Mary Sues, author insertions, bad spelling, gratuitous plot holes, chatspeak, and slash. Slash was the last thing she had to include. Now she's just gotta come up with an ending and then we can go home."

Wakko nodded. "At least we get the night to ourselves. And in a nice hotel too."

Yakko gave the door a reproachful look. "Come on sibs. She's definitely not coming back out tonight."

Everyone piled into the cab which of course had waited for them despite not ever being given any indication that they would still be needing his services. A third trip down I-4 later and the crew were collecting keys to they're hotel rooms. K.A.S.E.Y. and WakkoBob were bunking together and Milk was taking Twist who true to DWC's word barely bated an eye when it came time to leave Wakko's side.

The hotel, Port Orleans, was spread out over several small buildings that had been built to resemble old colonial homes in old style Louisiana. But the inside of the rooms were exactly as expected. Loud tacky comforters that matched loud tacky wall borders and a large television that had several channels that were nothing but ads for different Disney parks.

"Do you realize this is the first time in over twenty-four hours that we've actually been alone together?" Yakko said as they changed into they're pajamas.

Dot folded her jeans and placed them back in her suitcase. "That's like a new record for us." She stated.

"I almost forgot what it's like to be just us. Twist was never farther than a few feet from me." Wakko said as he climbed onto the bed he would be sharing with Dot.

"And the girl practically vomits rainbows and sunshine. It's deeesgusting!" She retorted.

"I actually feel kinda sorry for her." Yakko said quietly as he finished buttoning his khaki colored pajama top.

Both of his sibs stared at him in surprise.

"Why?" Dot asked.

"She _really_ believes that she's our sister. And she has memories of us that we don't have of her. As far as she's concerned we just woke up one day and forgot about her. It's kind of a scary thing to think about really." He set his suitcase in a chair and sat down on his bed. "I know she's annoying, and she has the weirdest way of talking, but I just can't help feeling a little bit bad for her. I mean, _I_ wouldn't want to be in her position right now. Especially considering DWC is probably going to have to kill her off."

Dot frowned. "Just watch her death be faster and less scary than mine was. I get tortured cause I'm the 'favorite'."

Yakko shuddered. "Remind me to ask her why in the hell she wrote that thing. One hundred and thirteen rhyming stanzas about the day you die is a _bit_ excessive."

"Ya think?? I can't even _go_ to that park anymore without getting nervous!"

"And you can't go off by yourself anymore without getting _me_ nervous." He agreed.

"Speaking of nervous," Dot said, "Did we lock the door?"

Yakko nodded. "Yeah. It was the first thing I did."

"What about the windows?"

"Haven't touched them."

Dot hurried over to the windows and began to check them individually.

"What are you doing, sis? We're in a gated complex. Come to bed." Yakko called as he lay down.

She hesitated still facing the window. "You know that tingly feeling you get way down deep that tells you something bad is gonna happen?"

"Spidey sense?" Wakko offered.

Yakko pushed himself up onto his elbows and looked at his sister with concern. "Dot is your spidey sense tingling?"

She finally turned to face her brothers. "I don't feel _safe_ here. WakkoBob knows where I am."

Yakko scowled at the mention of the name. "He also knows _we're_ here."

"I feel like I'm being stared at."

"Because _we're_ staring at you." Wakko pointed out.

"Oh… right."

Yakko stood up and walked over to her, draping his arm around her shoulders. "Would it make you feel better if we all slept in the same bed tonight so you can be in the middle? I'll even sleep on the side by the door so anything that wants you hasta go through me to get there."

Dot flung her arms around him tightly then allowed herself to be led to the bed. Wakko slid out of his bed and joined them on Yakko's.

They all snuggled up together as they had countless times before. Safely sandwhiched between her brothers, Dot was asleep in minutes, Wakko was out not long after that. But Yako wasn't so lucky. It wasn't that he wasn't exhausted, he was. He just couldn't shut his damn brain off. His thoughts kept jumping everywhere from Twist's situation, to having to fake mourn at other death scenes, to Dot's spidey sense. His spidey sense was tingling too but I thad been ever since he first realized he was in a DWC fic and likely wouldn't stop until after the climax. Now his brain was stuck on the word 'climax' and was wishing his sibs were awake so he could make the appropriate inappropriate comment. It sucked being the only one awake. It left him with no one to talk to.

Deciding he was thirsty he gently slid out of bed and tiptoed into the bathroom. He sighed when he realized that they didn't have any ice. It wasn't that big of a deal he'd seen an ice maker in the building they had checked in at but it was three buildings down and the walk was sure to be a pain in the ass. Oh well. He grabbed the ice bucket and quietly slipped out the door.

Out in the post midnight air it was hot and humid. The only sounds were bullfrogs and crickets. He swatted at the swarm of mosquitos that were trying so desperately to find a way through his fur.

He'd made it roughly a quarter of the way when he heard a voice call, "Hey Yakko! Hold up!"

He came to a halt and allowed his younger brother to cath up with him.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

Yakko held up his ice bucket as his answer. "Did I wake you?"

"Yeah. I heard the door close and when I sat up you weren't there."

"Dot still asleep?"

"Yeah."

They started walking again.

"How do you think this is all going to turn out?" Wakko asked.

"Crash and burn." Yakko answered. "DWC fully admits that she has no plans at this point. That's not how she usually writes. She's in over her head right now writing in a genre she usually tries to avoid. The OCs aren't really even hers, they're just combinations of different OCs she's come across over time. Personally, I foresee catastrophe."

Wakko hesitated before saying: "I heard a rumor she wrote a Futurama fic that took her four years to finish because she kept getting stuck."

Yakko looked positively horrified. "Oh God!"

"But it was over seventy-nine thousand words." He amended.

"That still averages out to roughly fifty-four words a day. That's _horrible_!"

"You don't think she'd do that to us… do you?"

"We'll camp out in her living room and harass her if we have to!"

"I don't think she'd do that." Wakko said confidently. "Not with us actually here. I bet she's working on it _riiiiiight_ now."

(XxX)

"Who's my kitteh?"

"Mew."

"Who's my kitteh?"

"Mew!"

"You is! You is my kitteh!"

DWC picked up the purring cat and tossed him onto her shoulder. He showed his contentment by kneading his claws into her shoulder.

"That's my boy, my sweet pointy boy!"

"Mew!"

(XxX)

"You're probably right." Yakko agreed. "She knows how important this is to us, she wouldn't leave us hanging."

Back at the hotel Dot shivered when Yakko pulled back the blanket to crawl back into bed.

"Yakkoooooo." She moaned. "Knock it off, you're letting out all the warm."

A hand reached out and ruffled her hair.

A hand much too large to have been Yakko's.

Dot's eyes shot open and to her horror she found herself face to face with the adoring gaze of WakkoBob. Glancing around she was even more horrified to realize that she was alone with him.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" She demanded shakily.

"I had to see you!"

"Well, here I am, you saw me, you can go now."

He grinned at her. "You're so cute when you're being silly."

"WakkoBob, I mean it. I want you to go. Right now. If my brothers come back and find you here…"

"Let them come! I won't let them deny us our love! What we share is special-"

"And very very illegal."

"No one has the right to tell me who I can and can't love!"

"What about the girl you're in love with? Does she get a say?"

WakkoBob smiled kindly at her as he once again ran a hand through her hair. She tried to pull away but the three thick layers of heavy hotel blankets that were still draped over her legs, blankets that WakkoBob was kneeling on, kept her pretty well pinned down.

"I love that you're trying to protect me. But I'm prepared to face any consequences. Our love is true and I will not deny it to protect myself from a closed minded society."

"Believe it or not you're not the one I'm trying to protect!" She spit, frusterated that he wasn't listening to her.

"You're so soft. You smell so good." He said gently. He let his hand trail down her chest. Her breath caught in her throat and her heart began to pound.

"If you touch me again I swear to God I will scream."

"You're trembling." He noted with some concern.

"You're scaring me." She answered, trying not to whimper.

"You don't need to be frightened. I'm aware that this is your first time. I'll be gentle. I'll be anything you need me to be. Tonight my only desire is to please you. And what better place than here? The happiest place on earth?"

As her worst fears were confirmed an odd feeling of heightened awareness and calm settled over her. She was hyper aware of everything that touched her, the blankets pinning down her legs, her sweat soaked nightdress, his hand once again in her hair. She was aware of every sound, including her own racing heartbeat.

"Leave." She demanded, all shakiness gone from her low steady voice.

"But sweeti-"

"I'm. Saying. _No_." She stated firmly her eyes locked unblinkingly onto his.

He looked puzzled for a moment, but then he smiled. "You're still afraid your brothers will come in. Let them see us together. Let them see our passion for each other!"

In one swift move he straddled her knees. When she brought her hands up to defend herself he grasped them and pinned them down by her head as he pressed his lips to hers in a passionate kiss.

Dot's clarity was instantly drowned by panic as she tried to struggle. Though he was taking great care to be gentle she just wasn't strong enough to break free of his grasp.

Where the hell were her brothers? How could they have just left her?

After what felt like an eternity WakkoBob broke off the kiss and Dot gulped in air. Once she'd gotten control over her breathing she took a deep breath in preparation of a scream, but before she could make a sound he was on her again kissing her deeply and muffling her cries. His hands were no longer grasping hers, instead running through her hair and down the length of her body. She braced her hands against his chest and pushed with everything she had. Other than slightly shifting his position it didn't even faze him. Pissed and terrified she did the only thing she could think of to do. She bit him. Right on the lower lip. He jerked and pulled back, a shocked expression on his face.

"This is our very first time, don't you think it's a little early to be getting kinky?"

Instead of answering him she screamed. As loud and as hard as she could. If her brothers could hear her it would bring them running. If they couldn't, their was nothing more she could do for herself. WakkoBob clapped his hand over her mouth.

"Honey, it's well past midnight. You're gonna wake the neighbors."

He pulled his hand away when she attempted to bite it. For the first time since the encounter began he was looking a little unsure of himself. "I know I said I would do whatever you needed, but I really hope you're not the type who likes it rough. I have no problem with you getting rough with me, but with you being so small I just couldn't feel comfortable being rough with you. It would feel too much like I was raping you."

"That's what you're _doing_!" She cried shrilly. "That's what this _is_! It's canon rape! You're not _listening _to me!"

He pressed a finger to her lips, quieting her. "Sshhh, my love, we'll speak later, it's time for our bodies to do the talking now."

He reached down and unzipped his pants.

"Ooooohhh God…" She moaned fearfully as the realization set in that this was really going to happen. "_NO_!" Her panic reaching fever pitch she went into a blind frenzy. Clawing, squirming, trying to kick, attempting to bite, like a cornered animal she was running on pure unfiltered survival instinct. Tears and sweat matted her fur and she screamed and cried for anyone who could hear her. Holding her down with one hand he pulled up her nightgown with the other. She shrieked when he hooked his thumb into the waistband of her panties and began to pull them down. His focus was so concentrated he never saw the black and khaki blur that tackled him right off the bed. The instant his weight was lifted from her Dot was up, throwing herself into the waiting arms of her youngest brother.

WakkoBob hit the ground hard enough to be winded. The blur, Yakko, was on him immediately fists flailing, curses and threats degenerating into wordless animalistic screams of rage.

In the meantime Wakko and Dot clung to each other. Her adrenaline rush was beginning to wear off and she'd started trembling. She wasn't sure when exactly she'd started sobbing, but the front of Wakko's pajamas were soaked with her tears. As well as his. When the brothers had first heard her scream they had stared at each other in horror, both knowing exactly what the scream had meant, before racing towards there room. They'd run full speed yet felt like they just couldn't run fast enough. They'd heard all of her later cries each one a dagger to they're hearts. They hadn't even been gone ten minutes. They'd thought she'd be safe.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Wakko cried over and over as he clutched her to him. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

Dot couldn't answer, she could only cling to him and shake.

Throwing one final punch Yakko stood up and spun around. The unadulterated rage on his face instantly dissolved into concerned horror the second he saw the state his baby sister was in. He ran to them, and threw his arms around them both.

"Dot! Dot? Are you hurt? Do you need an ambulance?"

When she didn't answer right away he pried her off Wakko and turned her so he could better see her face. Her eyes were dilated and slightly glazed and she had yet to stop shaking.

"I think she's in shock." Wakko whimpered.

"…No… I'm, I-I'm okay…" She murmured softly.

Not entirely buying that Yakko snagged a blanket from the bed and attempted to drape in on her, but she balked. That blanket had helped hold her hostage and she wanted nothing to do with it. Realizing this Yakko dropped the blanket like it had bit him and ran to his suitcase where he dug out his zip up sweatshirt. This she allowed herself to be wrapped in before he gathered her up into his arms. She quietly rested her head on his shoulder.

"What are we gonna do?" Wakko asked shakily.

The rage was beginning to creep back into Yakko's expression as he stroked Dot's back.

"We're going back to DWC's. She's crossed a line. There is no excuse, _no excuse,_ to do this. She had _no right_ to put Dot through this. I don't know what the hell she's playing at but she will _not_ get away with it."

(XxX)

"Diego, you dildo." DWC moaned as she rolled over trying to escape the cat who was determined to sleep in her face. He got up, leapt over her head and recurled up mere centimeters from his humans nose. She sighed, than gasped when she suddenly heard pounding on her door. The cats, who had both been sleeping on the bed with her bolted under the bed. DWC leapt out of bed unsure of what to do. Generally speaking any situation that began with someome pounding on the door of a single woman's apartment at 1:30 in the morning didn't end well for the woman in question. Lacking in weaponry she grabbed the only things available to her, a grill lighter and a can of Lysol. Carefully she peaked through the peephole and was only slightly relieved to see it was just Yakko. Only slightly because the look on his face was not a pretty one. He came bursting through the door pretty much the second she had unlocked it. He had his sister in one arm and was followed closely by Wakko.

"I don't know what makes you think you have the right to do this to my family!" Yakko hissed getting right up in DWC's face. She was frightened by the raw fury in his eyes and backed up, bumping into her computer desk and trapping herself.

"What? I-I don-"

"Oh don't even _try_ to play dumb with me! You are sick, _sick_! Who the hell puts a _ten year old_ in that kind of situation?? And _why_?? What point could you possibly have been trying to make? What the hell could have been important enough to make it okay? And why _her_??"

DWC, who had always been pretty easy to intimidate was positively cowering. "I honestly don't know what you're talking about." She said shakily.

"The _rape scene_ you bitch!" Their were tears in his eyes and the finger he was pointing in her face was shaking. "The one you put my sister through!"

"What?!?" DWC shrieked. She was so surprised she completely forgot to cower.

"I didn't write a rape scene!"

Yakko stared at her incredulous that she would have that kind of nerve. "What do you mean you didn't write a rape scene?? I was _there_. I walked in on it; he was pulling her underwear off!"

At this point Dot, who until now had been silent, dissolved into tears. Yakko hugged her tight whiel Wakko placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I swear I didn't write a rape scene! I haven't gotten past the end of chapter four, look!"

She whirled around and clicked on the monitor where the word document was still open. Sure enough, the last thing written was the final paragraph of chapter four, which as I'm sure you remember was:

'WakkoBob took the opportunity while everyone was distracted to discreetly ogle Dot's tiny pre-pubescent ass. No one noticed.'

Yakko gestured wildly toward the paragraph with a horrified noise.

"That's _not_ a rape scene!" DWC was quick to point out.

"It sure as hell is the precursor to one!" Yakko said shrilly once he had found his voice.

"But I didn't write one!"

"How could it have happened if you didn't write it? Are you calling us liars?" He gestured to the still quietly crying Dot. "Does she _look_ like she's lying?"

DWC sank into the swivel chair looking both horrified and confused. "I'm not calling you liars. I'm just saying I didn't _write_ it."

"But that doesn't make any sense. They're _your_ characters they can't do anything you don't tell them to!"

"I thought that was how it worked too." DWC said weakly. She was watching Dot sob with a pained look. "Is she okay? Did he hurt her?"

"You mean _besides_ the horrible screaming nightmares she's going to have for the rest of her life? These are _your_ characters. You're responsible for them. I don't care if they're acting independently and I don't care why. Everything they do is on you. What happened to Dot is on _you_. If you can't handle them I am fully prepared to go back down there and rip him apart with my bare hands."

DWC shook her head. "No. I don't want you to do that."

"If that's what it takes to protect my family I-"

"Would do it, I know. I just don't want your character to have to take that kind of turn."

"He's a physical threat! And I am quickly achieving a level of pissed I have never experienced before!"

"I just don't want it to have to be you."

"Than fix it. I don't care about plot, I don't care about continuity, I don't care if it makes sense, I don't care about what point you were trying to make with this stupid story. _Fix it_. You've got one chapter. If you can't get rid of them in one chapter then I'm taking matters into my own hands, you got me?"

"Yeah." DWC answered meekly.

He pointed at the screen. "Start typing. We're not leaving till you're done."

DWC nodded still looking shaken. She gestures weakly towards the kitchen. "There's juice and Hot Pockets in the fridge. And you can watch tv or put in a video if you want."

As DWC turned to stare blankly at her computer screen Yakko carried Dot to the bed and gently sat her down. The mattress was high enough that he could look her in the eye without bending down. As he tended to her Wakko went to the kitchen to get her some juice. Anica, who had always been kid friendly came out from under the bed and leapt into Dot's lap where she lay down purring. Between the three of them they were able to calm her tears.

DWC couldn't help glancing over at them. She seriously felt horrible for what the poor girl had gone through. She didn't deserve to have been put in such a position. And DWC didn't understand how it had happened. Her ocs had obeyed her for the first four chapters. They'd done everything she had written them to do. Until, she realized, she had lost her plan.

"Oh shit." She said aloud. The Warners turned to stare at her.

"I know what happened."

"Oh really?" Yakko said dryly. "Do tell."

"They behaved when I had a plan. But then that plan had to change. I had no idea how I was going to end this. But the ocs were programmed from the start to behave like they would in an authentic badfic."

"What's your point?"

"When I lost my plan they continued to follow the rules of their individual universes. WakkoBob's character is based on all of the creepy pedophile stories that keep popping up in the Fairly Oddparents section. In those stories the pedophile gets intimate with the kid, but the kid is a willing participate. When I was no longer directing him WakkoBob did what he would have been expected to do in an authentic pedofic. I bet he even acted like she was willing."

"He did." Dot said hollowly. "I kept saying 'no' and he kept twisting it around to make it seem like I didn't mean it. He never threatened me, he never said anything mean, he just wouldn't listen to what I was saying."

"Because in an authentic pedophile fic you _wouldn't_ have been saying 'no'."

"That's all well and good, but what does this little epiphany of yours mean?" Yakko said.

"It means I _can_ still control them. All I have to do is come up with a plan and they'll follow it."

"Well then, get to it."

DWC turned back to the computer with new determination. She was sure she could set things right. All she needed was an idea.

Yakko hopped up onto the bed and sat next to Dot, draping his arm around her. Though her tears had stopped she was still sniffling as she stroked Anica's back. Wakko grabbed the remote and turned on the bedside tv. He turned the volume down, the tv mostly serving as background noise since the boys were largely focused on comforting they're sister. She had zipped herself into her brother's sweatshirt and since Yakko had a tendency to wear clothes that were a size bigger than he really needed she was practically drowning in it. It only served to make her appear even more fragile and tiny than she really was and was hightening her brothers compulsion to fuss over her.

Once again DWC glanced guiltily back at them. She watched as Yakko gently hugged his sister while Wakko offered her some more juice. Movement in DWC's periphrial vision caught her attention and she looked over at the television screen. The sound was down too low to hear but she could clearly tell that it was an episode of one of the various Star Trek series. A canon lead in a blue uniform was talking to a nondescript character in a red uniform.

"Hey!" Yakko snapped. "You're supposed to be writing, not watching TV!"

"Actually… I think I might have an idea. It makes absolutely no sense, doesn't relate to this story in any way, but it'll take care of everything in one chapter."

Yakko rubbed his palms together, ready for action. "Alright then. Let's do it."


	6. Let's Just End This Thing Already

Chapter Six: Let's Just End This Thing Already

Without Warning the Warners found the,selves on the bridge of a space ship similar to but legally distinct from the Starship Enterprise. Yakko was in the captain's seat, Wakko at the weapons console, and Dot at tactical. All three were wearing blue uniforms. They looked at each other in confusion.

"Well, she did say it didn't relate to the rest of the story." Wakko pointed out.

A sound from behind them caught they're attention and they all turned to look. A door had slid open and all of the ocs walked through all wearing red uniforms.

When WakkoBob, sporting a black eye, several bruises, and a pronounced limp came into view Dot spun her chair around and sank low in her seat. When he saw her his face lit up and he took a stap towards her, but when Yakko allowed a downright dangerous sounding growl escape his throat WakkoBob wisely decided to back off.

If the Sues were confused by there sudden change in scenery they didn't show it. Both Milk and K.A.S.E.Y. looked stunning in they're tight fitting uniform leotards.

Twist looked like she had been attacked by radio shack.

"Look, Im borg!!1!" She called happily. "Al ur base r belong 2 me :D !!"

Wakko shook his head. "Nuh-uh!"

She looked crestfallen. "I haz a tv remote stuk 2 mi 4hed & I dont evn git n e base :( ?"

The Warners glances at each other again with incredulous expressions before a beeping noise from the captain's computer console caught yakko's attention. He warily touched the screen and a message popped up.

Yakko-

Land on a planet. Doesn't matter which one.  
All are inhabitable in a trek parody. Make sure  
ocs stand together & you and sibs stand away  
From ocs.

-DWC

"We're supposed to land on a planet… apparently." Yakko told his sibs. "Whichever one we want she says."

"I want to land on the one that's shaped like a banana." Wakko said.

Yakko and Dot turned to the large viewing porthole, not believing him at first. But sure enough, dead ahead was a yellow planet that looked an awful lot like a banana.

"Why do I feel like I'm stuck in a bad Nyquil trip?" Yakko wondered.

"Are you kidding? A banana planet is about the most creative thing that's happened in this whole fic!" Wakko replied.

"Can we just get this over with already?" Dot continued to curl up in her seat trying to stay out of WakkoBob's line of pervy sight.

Yakko took control of the ship and began to guide it toward the planet.

"Considering I haven't landed a space ship since we did that Star Wars parody episode of Animaniacs _nine years_ ago, you may want to buckle up." He announced as they began to make there final decent.

But since killing them all in a firey ship explosion would be entirely too easy, as well as the fact they're was already a near miss crash scene back in chapter two, the author allowed them a safe landing.

As they stepped out of the ship and onto the planet's surface Wakko picked up a small rock and gave it an experimental swallow.

"Wakko!" Yakko chided. "What have I told you about eating unidentified space matter?"

"I just wanted to see if the planet tastes as good as it looks."

"What's the verdict?" Dot asked.

"I've had better." Was his reply.

"You're going to end up with internal parasites." Yakko stated.

"I think he _is_ an internal parasite." Dot quipped.

"Dun u tlk bout mi bro liek tht /:-( !!" Twist raged.

"He's my brother too, I'll say what I want."

Ignoring them Yakko pointed to something in the distance. "Hey look, someone's coming!"

It turned out to be a lot of someones. Dozens of small white mice marched haphazardly to them. As they neared one stepped forward.

"Greetin's friends! Welcome to planet Narf, home of the Pinktons!"

Yakko's eyebrows shot so high it was as if the back of his scalp had fallen off. "You've _got_ to be kidding me! This is the _best _she could come up with??"

"We didn't exactly give her much warning time." Dot reminded him.

"But planet Narf? Pinktons?"

"Rightio!" The head Pinkton sang as he spun around in a circle.

"To think we could be in a Msmelanie fic right now, but noooooo."

"You've even picked the best night to come!" The Pinkton called jubilantly.

"How so?" Yakko asked.

"Tonight is the annual passing of the Satellite of Love!"

Wakko's ears perked up. "The Satellite of Love? You mean the… MST3K guys?"

"Poit!"

"Oooh," Dot said. "It's nice to know they still get work!"

Yakko still looked dubious. "So basically, a spaceship shaped like a dog bone is going to pass by a planet shaped like a banana, and this is somehow a plot point. _Man_ I miss our real writers."

"I know." Dot agreed. "Where's Ruegger and Rogel when you need them?"

"Well, let's get this over with. DWC's note said the ocs need to stand together as far away from us as possible." He turned to the ocs. "See that rock over there? The one that's shaped like Paul Giamatti?"

K.A.S.E.Y. scoffed. "Paul Giamatti? What are you talking about? That's clearly Mr. Peanut."

"Whatever. Go stand over there."

With a glance at each other and a shrug they began to walk towards the rock that any idiot should have been able to see was shaped like a crouching Lord Voldemort.

As he passed by WakkoBob gave Dot a wink and made a suggestive hand gesture that had her wrapped back around Yakko;s leg in an instant.

Fighting the very strong urge to engage in a good face mauling Yakko forced himself to turn back to the chief Pinkton. The Pinkton had curled himself into a very advanced yoga position and appeared to be meditating. Suddenly he opened his eyes and leapt to his feet.

"The Satellite! It approaches! May we bring forth our offering of yams and meat!"

Sixteen Pinktons carefully carried up a tray loaded with food and carefully sat it down on a ceremonial mat. The rest of the Pinktons had fallen to they're knees arms outstretched as they swayed slowly back and forth.

"The great ones approach! May we call out as one and bask in their glory!"

The Pinktons began chanting as one:

"In the not too distant future, Somewhere in time and space…"

Wakko couldn't control his snickering. Dot elbowed him harshly. "Knock it off! This is their religion!"

"It's ridiculous!"

"No more ridiculous than anyone else's religion." Yakko pointed out.

Wakko's laughing stopped. "Good point."

The satellite got closer and closer. Burning a brilliant red as it entered the atmosphere.

"Uh Yakko," Dot said worriedly. "I think I know where this is headed."

"I think you're right sis, hopefully we're far enough away."

With a thunderous thud the Satellite of Love crashed to the ground, landing right on top of Voldemort and the ocs.

Dot nudged Yakko. "Told you their deaths would be faster than mine."

The door of the satellite opened and out stepped Mike Nelson and the bots.. Crow turned around and with a small remote turned on the alarm with an enthusiastic -bloop bloop!-

"Yams ready?" Mike asked as the Pinktons erupted into a frenzy of exalted worship.

As they passed by the Warners they heard Servo comment:

"It's so _nice_ to have a home cooked meal."

Yakko and his sibs looked back at the satellite. All was still.

"Is that… it?" Yakko asked. He began to step towards it but Dot grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Oh no you don't, Mr. Tears of Love! You're not going anywhere near that satellite!"

Wakko took the initiative to check things out. Approaching slowly he stepped around the satellite.

"EW EW EW!!!" They heard him cry.

"What's wrong? Did it get them?"

"Oh it _got_ them. Spew! …Hey! Milk's pendent survived!"

"Don't touch it!" Dot shrieked. "You'll spawn a sequel!"

Wakko came back around and rejoined his sibs.

"Believe me; you do _not_ want to go back there."

"I'm going to take that to mean that we're in the clear." Yakko said.

"Did you know the human brain is _white_ on the inside? Who knew?"

(XxX)

"So. Are you satisfied with the way everything turned out?" DWC asked.

The Warners were back in her apartment happily munching on Hot Pockets.

"We're reasonably pleased. All things considered." Yakko said.

"That's good."

"But it's missing something." Wakko said.

"Yeah? What?"

"A lesson. A point. A moral."

She raised her eyebrow. "You want a moral?"

"Would be nice. Then it wouldn't have all been for nothing."

"You can have a moral if you want one."

Yakko sat down his plate and stood up. "And for that moral," He said in his best announcer voice. "We turn to the Wheel of Morality!"

The Wheel of Morality slid into view. It was quite large.

"You're not leaving that thing here when you're done." DWC stated.

Yakko ignored her and spun the wheel. "Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn, show us the lesson that we should learn."

The wheel spun and landed on…

"Bankrupt? You know, five years on the air and we never once landed on 'bankrupt'."

"Does this mean we've hit a new low?" Dot asked.

"…Let's just spin it again." DWC said.

They did so. This time the wheel landed on a number. The moral printed out and Yakko ripped it off.

"Moral number five. And today's moral is: Kittens are for petting, not for eating."

DWC nodded, satisfied. "It's what I've always believed.

Dot shrugged. "It makes about as much sense as any of our other morals."

"On an unrelated note," She said turning towards DWC. "You've written only three stories total for this fandom. _Three_. And this is the second one where I've seriously feared for my virginity. How about, in the future, as a personal favor to me as your favorite, you don't go there anymore. Between my legs is completely off limits to you, okay?"

DWC held up her right hand. "No more rape scenes, I swear to god."

"Good."

"I mean hell, you already have enough to worry about from the perverts at deviantART."

"Exactly, I –wait what?"

Yakko fixed DWC with a steeled gaze. "Don't think you're off the hook for anything." He stated pointedly. "I still hate you."

"I don't blame you." DWC agreed. "After 'Twas the Worst Christmas Ever', 'Just One More Day', and this story, I don't blame you one bit. And if I decide to write any of the other ideas I got swirling around my brain I would fully expect you to come back down here and kill me in my sleep."

"What??!! There's more?? This wasn't enough for you? I am furious! I am outraged! I am-"

"Here's three tickets to Pirate Mini Golf."

"-completely over it!" He accepted the tickets gleefully.

Dot looked appalled. "What? No! You might be over it but I'm not! I was almost _violated_! I demand justice! I demand restitution! I demand passes to Disney's Princess Spa!"

"Done."

"And tickets to Cirque Du Soleil!"

"Done."

"_Now_ I'm over it."

"Hey I have demands too!" Wakko chimed in not wanting to be left out.

"What?"

"A reservation for lunch at Planet Hollywood!"

"Fine."

"And dinner reservations for Emeril's!"

DWC rolled her eyes. "Fine, whatever."

"Oh, you know what else would be cool?" Yakko began to say.

"If you want an _uneventful_ flight home I suggest you leave now." DWC said flatly.

Yakko took the hint immediately. "You didn't let me finish. I was gonna say 'leaving'. Leaving would definitely be cool."

He began to pull his sibs towards the door but thenhesitated.

"I've got one last question though."

"Yeah?"

"Twas the Worst Christmas Ever."

"Yeah?"

"_Why_ exactly did you write that?"

"Honestly? Mostly to piss someone off."

"…Me?"

"No. I'm saving that for chapter two."

"_What??_"

"You still have a funeral to plan."

"I _hate_ you."

Epilogue

And now dear readers, some of you are probably wondering if the fates of the ocs weren't a little harsh considering only one of them posed a legitimate physical threat. But do not worry. As stated before Sues don't really die, they just get reincarnated into other fanfics.

**Twist**: was reborn as the long lost twin sister of Arwen in Lord of the Rings. She married Legolas and spawned a miniseries.

**Milk**: went to Hogwarts where she wooed Harry Potter and single handedly killed Voldemort. She married Harry and spawned many babies.

**K.A.S.E.Y.**: showed up in an anime I've never heard of and hooked up with a canon lead whose name I can't pronounce. They spawned many hentai.

And finally, **WakkoBob**: showed up in the Fairly Oddparents section where he played a butchered rendering of the canon character Cosmo, an adult married man, and had a glamorized sexual relationship with his ten year old godson Timmy. Readers reviewed the fic, claiming it was beautiful and deep. It spawned many card carrying members of NAMBLA.

The End

Almost

Epilogue: The Sequel

**The Warners**: Spent the rest of the week touristing around. Wakko nearly took some guys head off with a misaimed golf ball during Pirate Miniature Golf. Yakko laughed so hard he nearly threw up. Dot loved Cirque Du Soleil. Wakko didn't love it so much. Turned out he's just as terrified of French-Canadian clowns as he is traditional American ones. Yakko laughed so hard he nearly threw up.

**DWC**: Got her car fixed and her hair re-dyed. Is now trying to come up with another A! fic but don't expect anything too soon, I just accepted a third job (movie projectionist, cashier at a cookie store, and now a calendar kiosk. All three jobs located at the local mall.).

**Anica**: Ate some fuzz off the floor and barfed on the carpet. She seemed quite pleased with herself for it.

**Diego**: Learned to give really awesome head massages. Now gives DWC one every night.

**The Roaches**: All died after extensive pest control measures. Take that bitches!!!

**Spithe the Bathroom Spider**: At the time of writing this, still lives on my bathroom counter. I like him too much to get rid of him.

The End

Fun Facts!

- This story was written entirely in the projection booth of the movie theater I work at. Don't tell my boss.

-The words 'there' 'they're' and 'their' were never once used correctly. Except for in dialogue. Completely intentional.

-Milk never used contractions. It's a weird phenomenon I've noticed in fics. Contractions are your friend people, come on! Dialogue sounds stilted and awkward without them!

-The original chatspeak I had for Twist was a lot funnier, but fanfiction .net doesn't allow the use of brackets and symbols so I had to water some stuff down.

-The I-4 highway is just as scary as I say it is. I refuse to drive it.

-Anelie the Mummified cat head really exists. Check my deviantart account for a picture. Link is in my member profile.

-I totally lied about not using a beta. Hi KitchenSink!!!

-KitchenSink made an illustration of a scene from this fic, check her member profile for a link to her deviantart account.


End file.
